Surely many have heard the expression "water does not flow under a lying stone." But how to understand if a man is a stone and is he pulling to the very bottom?
A man undoubtedly influences a woman's life, her further development, the formation of her goals and their further achievement. Since we live in a time when a woman most often does not want to be a shadow of her man, but strives to become successful, independent, as well as to grow and develop as a person, then the relationship between a man and a woman has become different. Now, not only a woman should support her man in everything. This became the responsibility of both partners. But do all men cope with this responsibility? And how to understand that a man is pulling to the bottom?
Signs of a stone man
There are a number of signs by which you can identify a man pulling to the bottom:
- The lack of ambition of the man himself. He does not want to develop in his profession, move up the career ladder, earn more money. He has no hobbies of his own. His life: work - sofa - sleep - work. He can justify this by the fact that he is so happy with everything, that in order to get a good position, connections are needed, that “others live worse” and so on. “My husband has been working as a cable operator for 10 years for a salary of 15,000 rubles a month,” says Olga, 31 years old. - I earn almost 2 times more! He had the opportunity to get a job as a cable operator in another company with a salary of 25,000 rubles a month, but for this he would have to finish a special. courses. But he refused. Everything suits him!"
- Constant attempts to demotivate your woman. Every time a woman tries to start something new, the man will constantly slow down her, telling her that it is difficult, that she will not succeed, that it is risky, or it is a waste of time and money. “When I was going to enter the magistracy on a budget and was preparing for the exams, my boyfriend constantly told me that there was too much competition and that you can only enter for a bribe,” recalls Irina, 23 years old. “The more often he said this, the less I believed in myself.”
- Indifference to the goals and dreams of their woman - Such men do not take their women seriously, and their dreams are considered stupid. “I inherited a large sum of money and wanted to spend it on opening my atelier. But my husband made a scandal, saying that nothing will work out, and I will simply lose all the money, - recalls Elena, 28 years old. “As a result, we bought an expensive car, which I don’t even drive.”
- Constantly looking for flaws in a woman - When a man constantly criticizes, he lowers his partner's self-esteem. As a result, she loses the desire to develop and move forward. “I used to knit things to order. Once I accepted a large order and forgot to take an advance payment, - says Olesya, 34 years old. - As a result, I spent a lot of money on yarn and accessories, and the client disappeared. I was at a loss, but instead of supporting my husband, I learned a lot about myself and my brains. Then I sold the products and recaptured the money, but the unpleasant aftertaste remained."
- He is outraged by other people's achievements. The success of other people makes him angry and angry. “I was a regular salesperson in a clothing store,” recalls Anna, 22. - A year ago I was promoted to manager, I decided to gather friends and celebrate this event. When I announced why we were walking, my man dropped a very rude and unpleasant joke. Both me and my friends were shocked. I think it was jealousy."
- He takes all the time and attention to himself. As soon as you start doing something, a man immediately has a thousand questions and instructions for a woman. He is trying with all his might to turn his attention to himself, and sometimes he points out that the wife is obliged to serve her husband. “I decided to take up dancing and agreed with my husband that he would sit with the children 3 times a week in the evening,” says Maria.“But every time before class, my husband suddenly had some very important things to do at work, as a result of which I had to stay with the children.”
How not to follow him to the bottom?
First of all, it is necessary to understand whether the values and aspirations of a woman coincide with the values and aspirations of her man. If partners view family, career, growth and development issues differently, is there any point in continuing such a relationship? Is a woman ready to give up career opportunities for her man?
If, nevertheless, it was decided to link your fate with a stone man, then you should follow the following rules:
- Believe in yourself and your strength;
- Diversify your social circle. Let bright and successful people prevail in it;
- Do not give your man the opportunity to belittle himself;
- Clearly formulate goals and build in a strategy for achieving them;
- Find like-minded people who will support you in all your endeavors;
- Do not take to heart all the negativity that comes from a man.
It is important that the man with whom it was decided to start a family and go together all his life, understands and supports. But if a man constantly slows down and restrains his woman, then harmony and happiness will not reign in such a family.
