Unlike constructive self-criticism, which only helps to better build relationships with others, determine life goals and methods of achieving them, self-flagellation leads to depression and depression.
What is self-criticism
Self-criticism is the ability of a person to look at their actions from the outside in order to determine what was done right and what was not. This is difficult enough. Because many are sure that the mistakes they make are the result of the actions of others, and not of their own decisions. And they blame everyone but themselves for failures. The ability to critically look at one's actions helps to cope with this. Their sober assessment will help not to make mistakes in the future. After all, ninety-nine percent of success depends solely on the person himself, and not on the behavior of others.
Self-criticism is only available to strong people. Those who are able to adequately perceive not only advice from the outside, but can themselves figure out their own imperfections.
Self-criticism is also about the ability to learn from others. A person who understands that his actions are not always perfect listens to the advice of others. But at the same time, he does not follow them thoughtlessly, but adapts to his own situation. This helps him to avoid unpleasant moments, to learn not only from his own experience.
What is self-flagellation
Self-flagellation is a destructive process. The person blames himself for all the troubles that befell the family, for all the problems that happened at work. Perhaps there is some part of his fault in this. But it makes no sense to scold yourself for the mistakes you have made. It is much wiser to spend energy looking for a way out of this situation. And self-flagellation only hinders this. It is detrimental to self-esteem, a person convinces himself that only troubles are from him, he is not good for anything, is not able to influence the surrounding events, can only spoil everything, etc.
Self-flagellation is a common symptom of someone with victim syndrome. He blames himself for all the failures that occur, pity himself, but at the same time does nothing, aggravating the situation more and more.
The first rule in dealing with self-flagellation is to understand that everything is in your hands. There is no point in worrying about the events that have happened, you need to make every effort to make life more successful in the future. This, in fact, is the difference between self-criticism and self-flagellation. The first is aimed at present and future events, a person seeks to improve the quality of life by admitting his mistakes. And self-flagellation acts as a stupor, “freezes” a person in a state of failure, does not allow him to develop and move on.
