Can a person "unscrew" unwanted sides of character from himself, like outdated details, and screw in new and better ones instead? We say yes with confidence when we try to reeducate the other person. We wonder why he doesn't want to try to react to life differently, it's so easy! Changing reactions is indeed one way to change character. But we will not experiment on others, but on ourselves.
Instructions
Step 1
Recognize the fallacy of responding spontaneously. Stephen Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, says there is a pause between an event and our response to that event. People who react spontaneously to everything immediately pour out emotions (or fill with negativity). There seems to be no pause at all. In fact, their pause is so short that they just got used to not noticing her presence. Before you go any further, admit that this approach is flawed.
Step 2
Begin to pause. In Solomon's parables, a person who does not control his spirit is compared to a destroyed city. In ancient times, cities were surrounded by high walls as a defense against external invasions. If the walls of the city are destroyed, any enemy will take possession of it with ease, taking advantage of the sudden invasion. But events to which we react incorrectly appear just as suddenly. So are there walls around our city? - Of course they are. You just need to learn to control your spirit, and for this - to fix a pause, at least for a moment. You may not hold back again, but this is for now. Begin to see a pause in every sudden event. You went into the kitchen to drink water. Just picked up a mug, the beloved cat decided to scratch her claws on your nylon tights. (Pause) You are standing at a bus stop, all the cars diligently go around the puddle. The taxi drives at speed, without swerving and splashing you. (Pause) You came to work in a good mood, but this Petrov, as always, ruined everything. Pause.
Step 3
Control the length of the pause. Once you get into the habit of taking a pause, you must learn to endure it longer than you previously could. Then you will pour out your emotions out of habit. But do this after the pause has passed. You are already close to learning how to manage your condition.
Step 4
Choose your reaction. The pause is given to you precisely in order to make a conscious decision. This is where your character comes in. What are your habits? How do you usually react to events? Now you can consciously change your reaction, thereby changing your character. Practice choosing your reactions and you will notice big changes in yourself.
