Psychologists are approached with different questions. All of them can be attributed to one of the categories: simple, medium, complex, very complex.
Sometimes we are faced with difficult situations in life and ask the question, shouldn't we go to a psychologist? We estimate how much money will have to be paid, but is it worth it? Or maybe we can handle it ourselves? Or will it be resolved by itself? Such questions arise before deciding to consult a psychologist. Moreover, sometimes we really cope on our own, and some situations are resolved without our participation.
So do we need outside help?
First you need to understand that the human psyche is not a simple and understandable tool. Sometimes, under a seemingly simple problem, there are rather complex and difficult to work out reasons, without changing which the problem itself does not go away. The opposite situation is also possible, when a serious difficulty in life is resolved with the help of awareness of a simple analysis of possible options for action.
How to understand which problems require deeper, and therefore labor-intensive study, and which require less effort.
1. Problems that can be easily corrected and influenced.
Let's start simple. What will almost any competent psychologist help us with?
All fresh, recently appeared difficulties and difficulties in relationships, as a rule, require just support and some balanced decisions, help in finding them, or simply help in adaptation. Whether a new difficult circumstance or a new turn has appeared in previously successful situations or relationships - welcome to a psychologist. It is highly likely that after 1-5 meetings you will leave the office inspired by your discoveries, willingly live life to the fullest and enthusiastically solve life's puzzles that seemed like problems before.
It is necessary to emphasize the addition: "in previously successful situations or relationships." If the relationship is not easy and it lasts a long time, then the situation belongs to another category of problems.
2. Psychological difficulties and difficulties that require some effort to resolve them.
There is a category of psychological problems that cannot be solved so easily. But they are quite amenable to correction.
For example, this is a more complex, intricate relationship in which the client will have to realize something in himself, make some decisions, including difficult ones, admit his not always obvious motives and aspirations. You may also have to make an effort to harmonize relations, limit yourself in some way, etc.
Also, the issues of overcoming stress and harmonizing one's psychological state will fall into this category. This also requires some effort, searching for information, doing some exercises and some analysis and understanding of oneself.
Achieving goals, analyzing obstacles, developing strategies for achieving it - all this is quite possible to implement with the help of a psychologist, if you make an effort and spend some time.
3. Complex problems requiring deep study and serious efforts.
Sometimes it is quite difficult to determine from the outset which category a particular problem belongs to. One way to do this is through practical efforts to overcome it. If you have made enough efforts to resolve any difficulty and many in your situation have already achieved a result, perhaps your situation has fallen into the category of psychological difficulties and difficulties that are quite tangible in terms of weight.
It can be long-term problem relationships, addictions and codependencies, negative emotional reactions that cannot be changed in different ways, obsession, psychotrauma, and much, much more.
Not any psychologist will help in these problems, but a really good specialist with experience in such assistance.
In these cases, the reasons can go deep into the subconscious of a person and require a deep study. There are negative emotional reactions that arise at a very early age, during intrauterine development, immediately at the time of birth.
Often the cause of a problem situation is a circumstance in the person's family. Thus, Bert Hellinger directly links some cases of depression of modern Germans with the cruel acts of their fathers and grandfathers in Nazi Germany.
The deep reasons hidden in the human psyche can be worked out for a rather long time and it is not easy. But they can be dealt with, having already made quite a lot of efforts, both on the part of the client and the psychotherapist.
Sometimes such difficult problems require wisdom, deep understanding, or a different attitude. Obviously, this comes over time, sometimes over many years. And there is no reason to expect such major changes in a month or two.
Wisdom and a mature attitude are ripening.
4. Problems that are practically not amenable to psychological correction and influence.
And finally, we will touch upon what a psychologist is unlikely to cope with, of course, if he is not a genius, such as, for example, Milton Erickson.
This includes all the deep-seated problems caused by negative character traits that manifest themselves almost throughout the client's life, they are considered an integral part of his personality.
For example, strong pessimism, a deep sense of their worthlessness or oppression. Strong resentment towards life. Such people have many insoluble problems in all areas of life. Sometimes it seems that such people came here specifically to suffer. If there is a person nearby who is ready to lend a helping hand, sometimes just for free, then all his attempts are rejected. Such a "client" finds some protection in his hopeless situation and will resist to the last, so that God forbid he does not experience even a slight relief. Such clients usually do not go to psychologists because of chronic lack of money.
This group also includes clients with mixed problems. For example, when a medical or psychiatric component is mixed with the psychological component.
Many existential problems also do not lend themselves to correction except in rare cases. Such people are accompanied by depression, lack of meaning in life, fatigue, sometimes physical illness and many accompanying complications. Sometimes such patients are helped only by a spiritual approach based on initiation into religion or knowledge of the depths of their “I”.
