In our country, the problem of domestic violence is especially acute. It is not even so much a family phenomenon as a social and cultural one. And to fight it at the level of a single family is quite difficult, but possible.
Marital violence
“He beats, it means he loves,” says a popular Russian proverb today. As you know, it is about a man who is allowed from time to time to demonstrate his feelings to his beloved by physical violence. Is it absurd? Yes. Working? Yes! And this is amazing … How to deal with such unofficially permitted violence? The answer is simple: don't accept it.
One rule should be understood once and for all: if a man has allowed himself at least once to raise his hand against a woman, then he must be left. Violence by a man (or a woman, which is less common) develops in a spiral. This is a scientific fact. A man capable of hitting will always carry a danger to women. There is, of course, a provoking moment. Often times, this type of man is attracted to a certain character of women. This happens unconsciously, but these couples live in symbiosis. Often a woman who suffers beatings, and achieves them herself. But that cannot justify violence. A man is free to react in a non-violent way. Fighting a man who has allowed himself to be abused is necessary by his own leaving and reporting to the police. But even in this case, there is a saying. In Russia, "They can't stand litter in public." This is another problem of the Russian society, which legalizes beatings in families. However, everyone has their own head on their shoulders.
Child abuse
"Giving a belt" to a child is a sacred thing, isn't it? But, think about whether this is an effective method? What does a child learn when he gets a slap in the face for an oversight? Only that violence can solve the problem. It is unlikely that a parent raising with a belt wants to achieve this. The child will be in pain, the child, of course, will understand that you are unhappy with him, but he will not learn to understand you, will not become closer to you, will not see you as a dear person. Talk to him. Only a conversation can teach a child not to upset you like that anymore, and make you friends. Moreover, it is important not to forget that insults have the same properties and consequences as blows. To beat with words is the last thing.
Psychological abuse
Almost everyone, hearing the word “violence”, imagines physical violence. But there is also another kind of violence. And in families, it is especially common. This is psychological abuse or abuse of the psyche. Everyone needs to fight this phenomenon. And you need to start with yourself. Remember that violent behavior is systemic. Using verbal psychological violence against your spouse, for example, you generate aggression in him. And what kind of violence he will choose in response is unknown.
