How to learn to live without shyness - this question is asked by every fifth inhabitant of our planet. Sometimes it is just a slight embarrassment when talking to a stranger. In other cases, a serious disorder that can seriously interfere with a person's life.
In any case, living with this feeling is unpleasant, so everyone who has encountered shyness tries to "heal" from it. Today we will look at ways that can help with this.
1. The very first thing that needs to be done to get rid of shyness is to find out the reason. Each person may have their own. For example, one could live in a family where respectful attitude towards relatives was not accepted, and where no one cared about the feelings of others. In such families, children are often subjected to undeserved or over-criticized, and they do not receive the necessary support. Self-esteem falls, and with it, self-confidence and self-confidence, confidence in their interest, likability and sometimes even appropriateness.
Such uncertainty could have been instilled in us not only by close relatives, but also by other people around us, for example, classmates. Such criticism is especially acute and painful in adolescence.
Another reason for shyness may be banal heredity. And in the literal sense (genetically there are people more prone to being shy), and figuratively - when the same shy parents are not able to teach their children to be active and confident in society.
There are also cases where excessive shyness is part or a consequence of some other problem. For example, people with depression find it more difficult to communicate with people.
Finding out the reason is very important when solving any psychological problem - it makes it possible to analyze your life and find in it that important moment from which this problem began. And it largely depends on what kind of work should be done.
2. But one way or another, the problem of shyness always lies next to a person's self-esteem. Therefore, whatever reason you find, you will have to increase self-esteem. Anyone who is faced with the problem of shyness tends to worry about what others think of him. In fact, it is much more important what you think of yourself and what kind of person you really are.
3. Another method that works quite well in this case is training. Yes, the usual training for their sociability. Get out of the house more often and be in the community. At the very beginning, it is not even necessary to be the first to contact, people are somehow social creatures - from time to time they have to communicate on different occasions. Just stay in the conversation, keep the threads going. It will be very difficult at first. But every time making sure that nothing terrible happened and the world did not collapse, it will become easier and easier for you to communicate with people. And each time you will gain new skills and new experience. Remember: running away from society and communication, it is impossible to learn to live in this very society. In this case, you need to carefully, gradually, but regularly load your "sociability muscle".
4. Create a positive image of shyness. In other words, look for the pros. Perhaps your problem seems huge to you and you find it difficult to notice that shy people can actually be very nice and pleasant. Maybe you do not shine at parties, you are not the center of attention in the company and its ringleader. But on the other hand, you are not defiantly rude and annoying - and this is very appreciated among people, respected for it. Society also values the ability to listen and hear the interlocutor - and this skill, as a rule, is amazingly mastered by shy people. Search for yourself or ask your friends what other beauty of shyness they see.
five. Another way to help you deal with your shyness is to realize that most people don't notice your shyness. Everyone is busy with their own problems and affairs. It may seem to you that everyone around you is just looking at you, only you are being evaluated, while in fact they may not even notice your confusion. Understanding this fact, studying it will help you feel more free in dealing with people.
An important point! Shyness has different degrees: from mild discomfort in dealing with people to severe phobias. Extreme degrees of shyness are already reaching the rank of social phobia. In this case, it is incredibly difficult for a person to cope with this problem on their own and it is worth contacting a specialist. Psychologists and psychotherapists deal with such issues.
