There is hardly a person who would never feel resentment. More often this feeling arises in relation to close people. Strangers can "give change" by the answer, or simply not pay attention to the "delirium of a madman." When it comes to loved ones, everything is much more complicated. Resentment is irritation or aggression directed at oneself. When negative feelings accumulate, an explosion occurs, a scandal, destructive for both sides. How to manage this feeling and how to cope with resentment?
Instructions
Step 1
Try to identify who you are offended and why. Sometimes it is not easy to do this, but awareness of the situation can give psychological relaxation.
Step 2
Talk to the abuser. Tell us about your feelings about the situation. Be constructive and don't blame the other person. Only talk about what you feel. During the conversation, you can work out a joint solution for the situation. If not, don't be discouraged. It will become easier for you if you speak out “at the address”.
Step 3
If you are inclined to take revenge, consider whether the abuser was punished for the act committed? If so, remember that the “stone in his garden” has already been thrown. Find a sense of satisfaction about this and keep in mind that the ball can be called "return" only once.
Step 4
Avoid manipulation. Often times, people, especially women, use resentment to get what they want. Pouting lips and proud silence show that you did something wrong. Having achieved his goal, the "offended" is again in a good mood and ready to communicate. This method remained from childhood, when the child showed the mother what he needed. In adulthood, this behavior can be fraught and effective until others are aware of the game; if this is your typical method, it will be difficult to get rid of. This is a common way to receive bonuses and dividends from others. Behavior changes only when you feel its inappropriateness.
Step 5
If there is an old grudge, check to see if it is causing negative emotions? If not, then this is just an experience that can be used for good. You should be aware that there are different situations in life, and be ready for them.
Step 6
If resentment is causing negative emotions, do a little exercise. Feel where exactly this feeling “settled” in the body? Try to paint it in different colors and see which color suits the offense better? Give this feeling shape, volume, consistency, play with it. Then decide if you need resentment in your body. If not, release it: mentally burn it or, putting it in a box, launch it into space.
Step 7
If you are striving for self-improvement, consider resentment as a gift. After all, this is a reason to work on yourself. Think about why this feeling arose. Learn to track feelings as they arise and react constructively and instantly, without piling up bags of resentment.
