In the previous part of our research, we examined what mental traps are, what they are and how they appear in our consciousness. In continuation of the topic, let us complete our acquaintance with the types that Andre Kukla highlights in the book "Mental Traps", and find out what the author offers as a therapy.
Instructions
Step 1
People with a lot of responsibilities or hobbies often fall into the trap of separation ("sitting on two chairs"). They try to work with two clients at the same time, without helping either one in the end. They are doing needlework, reading a book, and do not understand anything from the text, and then the noose ran away. It is impossible to have time for everything at once - this is an objective truth. If it seems that the ground is slipping from under our feet, it makes sense to prioritize and rewrite things in a notebook: having noted the stages passed, we will understand that issues are being systematically resolved, and nothing escapes attention. So why add stress to your body by making it eat both cake and roast at once?
Step 2
“If you hurry, you will make people laugh,” tell yourself more often to avoid the trap of acceleration. It is better to read the document properly, to consult with knowledgeable people, than to run around to sign it several times. It is important to understand for yourself when quickly means quickly, and in what cases - hastily and prematurely. Analyze a specific situation: if I think again, will the result change? Will I find a mistake, will a bright thought illuminate me - or, on the contrary, will I just stretch out the time, falling into one of the traps? If the deliberation has worked well, then we have just escaped the acceleration trap.
Step 3
André Koukla defines the last two traps as follows: "Regulation is a trap of useless prescriptions, and formulation is useless descriptions." They directly characterize the constant work of the brain, from which it is almost impossible to get rid of and which greatly interferes with life. Our minds “get underfoot” all the time, creating unnecessary stress. We fall into the trap of regulation by giving ourselves small orders that we could not only do without, but also feel much better. The command "we need to stretch a stiff leg" actually prolongs the torment by exactly those microseconds that we spent on unnecessary thought. Although you could just stretch out your hand - and that's it, the problem is removed. But we have come a long way: at first we felt discomfort, then we thought about what to do with it, then we gave ourselves a task and completed it.
Step 4
The formulation trap also made us suffer - after all, the discomfort first had to be realized and identified, and only then we had to decide what to do with it. And by formulating the joys of the world around us, we actually steal them from ourselves. Enjoying the fresh wind instantly loses its value, as soon as you formulate it: "How I enjoy the fresh wind!" It turns out, as if we are trying to convince ourselves of this, which means - don't we trust ourselves so much that we need proof expressed in words? It’s like a sports commentator who, exercising his wit, gets in the way of watching what is happening on the screen. Disconnect the commentator within yourself, let him not interfere with listening to the world around him.
Step 5
In fact, these two traps give rise to subsequent problems - once having launched the mechanism of endless analysis, we invent difficulties from scratch, accumulate tension and desperately try to remove it, becoming more and more entangled in the heaps of thoughts. It is not for nothing that many psychologists advise to master the practices that help turn off the brain and listen to the subconscious. The inner voice itself guides us and copes with this task quite successfully, but the habit of trusting reason and not trusting intuition generates uncertainty.
Step 6
Distrust of impulses is what Andre Kukla states as one of the reasons for falling into traps. We are used to considering the prescription as effective, it seems to us that just getting up and washing the dishes is an unreliable way to put things in order, we must definitely set a goal for ourselves, say it and then get down to business. Of course, a wall of traps immediately stands in the way: resistance, protraction, then acceleration, separation - and, as a result, stress. Isn't it better to just practice faith in oneself, to feel the moment when the strength will fill us, and refraining from the diagnosis: "I have filled the strength, I will go to wash." And just take it and do it.
Step 7
Surprise that life can be so simple is the first thing we face when we try to free ourselves from the authoritarian regime of our own brain. To do this, André Kukla suggests observing the manipulations of the mind from the sidelines using elementary examples from everyday life. Indeed, after all, we even wake up already in the grip of traps and fall asleep, trying in vain to get rid of the obsessive "neighbor" in our head. A simple alarm clock calls in us the formulation (I do not want to get up), regulation (it is necessary), resistance, protraction (well, just a minute), acceleration (I’m late), fixation (I’m late!), Separation, anticipation (it will fly in at work). And so almost all day.
Step 8
“Every aspect of our daily life - housework, weekend getaway, career, relationships with others - can be thought productively or unproductively. We fall into the same traps whether we are washing the dishes or contemplating marriage or divorce. The difference lies not in the subject of our thoughts, but in the approach to the subject. If we get rid of even one of these traps, we will find that our problems in all areas are simultaneously less complex. " Let this quote from the book "Mental Traps" help to formulate a new approach to your own life, from which useless commands, attitudes and false priorities will gradually disappear.
