In 2019, James Clear published the book Autonomous Habits. How to get good habits and get rid of bad ones. She immediately gained insane popularity and became an instrument of psychological self-help. I propose to go straight to the point and figure out how to form a good habit and abandon a bad one.
Necessary
A sheet of paper and a pen, a developed imagination, a support group, a fighting spirit, time for introspection (for a start, half an hour right now, then at least 20 blinks a day regularly)
Instructions
Step 1
Think about why you want to form a habit or break a habit. What kind of person do you want to become?
Now imagine that you are already him. How then should you behave? Concentrate on that person's life. Use “I do” instead of “I should do”. This will help you gain and maintain intrinsic motivation.
Step 2
Specify your habit-breaking mechanism.
In general, the chain of habit formation is as follows: stimulus, desire, reaction, reward.
Stimulus is awareness of the real danger of previous behavior. For example: being overweight limits my activity and causes heart problems.
Desire is the definition of the benefits of breaking the habit. For example: if I lose 10 kg, then I can wear any clothes and at the same time I will not look vulgar or ridiculous in them.
Reaction is choosing a path that will not only lead you to your goal, but will also be enjoyable for you. For example, if you want to lose weight, you can choose one of the hundreds of existing sports as physical activity.
Reward is a reward, a positive assessment of intermediate results. For example, for every kilogram you lose, you can take yourself to the movies (without popcorn and soda, of course).
Step 3
Surround yourself with people who already fit your image.
Understand that your old environment is a mechanism that will try to maintain stability. If someone from him does not want to change and accept your changes, then he will try to "reason" you, that is, return to the old way of life. This is an axiom of psychology.
Step 4
Take small steps.
Break down big goals into small sub-tasks. It must be something within the scope of all changes, but something that you can do right now, today. For example, don't scare yourself with the phrase “I don't smoke anymore,” but say: “Perhaps I will give up this cigarette. Maybe I'll smoke it tonight. Evening comes, say: “Perhaps I will give up this cigarette. Maybe I'll smoke tomorrow,”and so on. In doing so, it is important to switch your attention to something else.
The ideal option is to set a big goal right away and make a step-by-step plan to achieve it.
Remember that the goal should be realistic, measurable, limited in time, specific, relevant (it affects your interests, and not imposed from the outside).
