Self-love is a sore subject that is difficult to find an answer to. The Internet is replete with articles on this topic, but there are very few clear recommendations among them. A person, having read vague advice, becomes even more confused. The following are just specific techniques to explain how to love yourself.
First, you need to understand what self-love is and how to feel it. How to understand if it exists or not? There are several characteristic features.
A person loves himself when:
- does not even ask the question "Do I love myself?";
- most of the time is in harmony with oneself;
- it never occurs to him to find fault with himself;
- does not suffer from feelings of guilt or remorse - he approves of himself any;
- criticism of others does not cause anxiety and depression;
- he himself does not criticize anyone;
- is often in a good mood;
- glad to help others, to make them happy, to please;
- little things in life and everyday problems do not unsettle him.
Many people confuse self-love with selfishness, self-centeredness, pride and bombast. But these are completely different things. Self-love is a calm state, the absence of dislike, self-criticism and internal contradictions. This is when a person does not need anyone for happiness, he is not pathologically dependent on things. He is good with himself and good in society with people, he is internally good in any environment, because he is at home - and this is the best company.
Egocentrism, in turn, often manifests itself as a desire to prove to oneself and others, what a wonderful person he is and how he loves himself. Self-love is a long-term inner work.
It's important to understand how it all started
There are people who love themselves initially, by default, from birth to the present. This happens in two cases:
- From childhood, the parents instilled in the child that he is the best, that he is a great fellow.
- In adulthood, there is one or more people who support and praise, thereby fueling self-confidence. For example, a woman is worshiped by a man. If this happens for a long time, then the girl herself begins to believe that she is good-looking.
If you see an adult, self-sufficient person who "made himself", without any moral support from the outside, know that he is the very support for himself. He did some inner work with himself, removed his complexes like weeds.
It is important to determine from what moment you feel psychological discomfort. Identifying the source of dislike will help eliminate this problem forever by working it out with a psychologist. On your own you can help yourself with the help of simple and understandable techniques. Each of them is effective in its own way.
Affirmations
These are not just words that you speak. These are words of conviction that carry the necessary semantic load. For example, say to yourself in a bright affirmative form "I am doing everything right!". At this point, try to believe as much as possible in what has been said. Affirmations are compiled and selected individually. Choose those that resonate in your soul. Repeat phrases as often as possible, whenever possible. You can start right in the morning in front of the mirror. Tell yourself how good you look.
Focus on strengths
Each person has a lot of positive traits. Find them in your home and remember every time how much good in you. Try to find something new and beautiful in yourself every day and add to the list of your strengths. Pay attention only to the pros. Do not notice the shortcomings, skip, ignore.
Absolute acceptance
Approve everything in yourself! This applies to both appearance and behavior. Remember that the standards of beauty are invented and imposed by someone, but in fact they do not exist. And actions and behavior generally cannot be assessed unambiguously, because everyone has their own truth. Even when you do "wrong", somehow you do it. There is always a personal motive, so a person's behavior is always justified by something.
Thought control
Observe what you think about during the day. And better write it down. This is how an indicative picture of a person's inner state emerges. Catching thoughts is not easy, but it is a matter of habit. When you learn, then proceed to the second stage - filter thoughts and remove negative judgments. As soon as self-criticism or feelings of guilt appear, immediately with an effort of will, throw them out of your head, repeating affirmations.
Posture
As you know, notorious people are like a question mark: they stoop, hunch over, shoulders are lowered, their eyes are dull. If you feel the same way or saw a similar reflection in the mirror, then just straighten your back. This is an ambulance technique. If you feel unsure, straighten your posture and you will feel better. This method helps out when communicating with influential people and characters who seek to humiliate, laugh at you.
Talking to the inner child
Another interesting technique aimed at turning inward. Psychologists say that all adults are actually children. And childhood injuries don't go anywhere. They hide in the depths of the soul, disguise themselves, but do not disappear without a trace. And you need to work with them. Divide yourself in two mentally: an adult and a child. Both characters are you. Now you, the adult, talk to yourself, the child. Ask what worries the kid, why he is sad, what he is afraid of, whom he loves and who does not, and why … Questions can be any. The main thing is that they lead to key answers. You, as a child, sincerely answer all questions, being sure that in front of you is the closest person you can trust. Such a conversation can clarify and unravel a lot of internal conflicts.
Attention to the inner voice
Trust your feelings 100 percent. After all, it is you who are real! Listen to your intuition, pay attention to your feelings. The inner voice has never let anyone down. On the contrary, it is the key to your truth. Make time for this every day. Stay in silence for at least 10 minutes, alone with yourself.
Don't do all the techniques at once. First, choose the ones you like best and practice them. Then move on to others. Internal work and finding harmony do not tolerate fuss.
