Almost every day, modern society is faced with the problem of interpersonal conflicts. At least two people are involved in a clash of interests. There are several ways to resolve an incident.
Everyone has their own interests. If on the way to the goal he has another person, an argument is likely. It will work out if the relationship is more expensive than the goal. The situation intensifies when goals are preferred.
The essence and examples of disagreements
Interpersonal conflict is a disagreement between individuals in the course of communication. Usually during such a confrontation, an exchange of accusations begins.
Each side considers itself completely right, all the blame is shifted to the partner with whom the disagreement began. This position does not solve the situation. As more charges are brought forward, the conflict escalates even more.
The most striking example of such a clash is the biblical example of Cain and Abel. The younger brother, due to feelings of envy towards him, was killed.
There are many examples of interpersonal clashes in history and literature, from clashes at the everyday level to disagreements between leaders of states about the future of countries.
History knows the conflict between Ivanov the Terrible and his son. In the course of a clash of interests, the prince died.
Often, a two-way conflict lies at the heart of literary works. The conflict situation between Onegin and Lensky is classic. The result was the murder of the latter.
In Pushkin's story "The Undertaker", because of ridicule over the occupation of the protagonist, disagreements begin between him and a group of artisans.
The clash of the outdated attitudes of one generation with the more advanced views of another caused the development of the plot of Turgenev's novel Fathers and Sons.
Reasons for the beginning of the controversy
Interpersonal conflicts are found everywhere, starting in kindergarten. Examples are squabbles on public transport and disagreements with work colleagues.
Nobody is safe from collisions with teachers, classmates. The reason for setting up an incident is usually the suppression of the interests of one person with the interests of another.
So, if, due to stuffiness in the bus, one of the passengers tries to open the window, then the wind blows on the other too much. As a result, interpersonal conflict flares up.
Disagreements can be stopped immediately by finding a compromise solution. You can simply ask one of the parties to change seats without mutual insults, calmly. However, this option is possible only in case of mutual desire.
It is not easy to plead guilty, it is much easier to blame someone. Clashes over resources are not uncommon. So, with a shortage of necessary supplies, people can descend to the primitive level.
The situation is manifested in the competitive selection for prestigious positions. A conflict on this basis is quite likely. Intolerance to other people's opinions can also provoke the development of the problem.
Even if it personally has nothing to do with another person, in communication he may turn out to be overly active. Others don't like it at all.
Appearance and behavior can become a reason for disagreement. Differences in cultural values provoke conflicts.
The phenomenon is especially common in families, where a sharp divergence of values is observed between generations.
Classification of conflicts
Clashes over social differences are not uncommon. The manager orders the receipt to be performed, which is completely wrong, in the opinion of the employee. As a result, the interests of both parties collide.
An incident at work is also likely to occur in the household kidney, if each employee in his own way represents the goals of the team.
There are several types of interpersonal conflicts:
- motivational;
- cognitive;
- role-playing.
The plans of the participants in the incident are affected when there is a motivational disagreement.
Motivational
Disputes are possible when each of the spouses has a different view of the future of the child, opposing views on the spending of the family budget, when the employee's vacation is transferred to other periods. With a complete incompatibility of interests, the development of a conflict can lead to tragedy.
It is very difficult to come to an agreement if there is only one TV in the family. On one of the channels, the wife is watching her favorite TV series, on the other, a team match is about to begin, for which the husband has long been “rooting”. It is impossible to combine interests, and with frequent repetition of the situation, there is a high risk of marriage breakdown.
Cognitive
During cognitive conflicts, participants demonstrate diametrically opposed value systems or the importance of something to themselves at the moment.
So, work can act for some as an exclusively source of money, while others see it as a way for self-realization. The person chooses the point of view himself.
The emergence of a cognitive clash is likely with a difference in the spouses' ideas of the family goal. The value system is made up of the most important attitudes, usually religious and philosophical ones.
The emergence of disagreements on this basis is optional. But a conflict will surely flare up when one person encroaches on the values of another, doubts about their importance.
Collisions are likely when one person tries to change another, if both have the opposite view of things. This is especially noticeable with a tendency to reeducate established personalities, attempts to force them to change their established habits and attitudes.
Role-playing
Role conflicts begin due to the neglect of one or both sides of the disagreement with the rules of communication and behavior. A likely reason may be a violation of etiquette or a business contract. The situation leads to mutual reproaches, claims.
There is a high risk of breaking the rules by those who come to a new team and are not yet familiar with the rules. It is likely that the rules of conduct are being violated deliberately.
Thus, the party demonstrates that the current situation does not suit it, a revision is necessary. Often, teenagers begin to be rude to their parents. So they declare that they do not agree with the existing rules.
There are always two sides to a conflict. The first is the object of disagreement. The second is the psychological aspect. It includes the education of the participants, the level of their intelligence. This is what distinguishes interpersonal disagreements from political ones.
Collisions between individuals are always different from each other. They capture people completely, forcing them to show all their abilities.
Areas of the problem
Often, the psychological component overlaps the subject of the dispute. Everything turns into mutual reproaches. Neither side tries to understand the opponent. All responsibility is completely removed from oneself and transferred to the opponent.
There are three areas of disagreement:
- working team;
- society;
- a family.
Family disputes are likely between spouses, children and parents, spouses and their relatives. The reason may be defiant behavior of one of the parties.
Often the material side and mutual reproaches for the lack of finance are the reason for the problem. Jealousy, attempts to establish control, restriction of freedom are possible.
Work conflicts develop between subordinates and bosses, between employees, between laid-off and working people. There is a risk of starting a dispute over disagreement with the distribution of responsibilities or because of clarification of interpersonal relationships, because of etiquette or culture of behavior.
Public incidents usually begin between society and a person, or between representatives of society. The most common cause is lack of culture in individuals. Correctness is proved by all means, including devaluation of the opponent's arguments.
Ways to solve and prevent the problem
Conflict is filled with emotions that are difficult to control. Everyone considers their own solution to be the only possible one. In order to behave correctly during an incident, it is important to conduct an objective assessment of the opponent.
If a casual passer-by starts a quarrel on the street, you can simply get away from a collision with him. So, after accidentally stepping on your foot, an apology is enough. If a loved one shows dissatisfaction, he makes specific claims, they should be listened to and offered your own solution.
However, calmness is imperative: excited people do not hear other people's arguments. If, even in a calm state, no compromise is possible, there are two options. On the first, you can agree and accept all the arguments. On the second, you will have to recognize the proposal as unacceptable and stop clarifying the issue, probably even breaking off relations.
The opposite side must be given what they want, while at the same time promoting their point of view. One of the options for resolving a dispute is correspondence, not personal communication.
It is important to offer and listen more, ask the opponent questions about his options for solving the problem. If you prove only the fallacy of the arguments put forward by the other side, then the opponent can begin to defend his views from the principle, even realizing that he is wrong.
Simple measures will help prevent interpersonal conflict:
- It is necessary to follow the rules of decency, etiquette.
- In order not to give cause for irritation, it is important to be polite with everyone.
- Observe subordination in work, strictly follow your duties.
- Harsh criticism is never voiced, even if it is fair.
- You can't raise your tone. It is easier to get away from the collision by continuing the investigation in a calm atmosphere.
Good incident prevention is the selection of suitable partners for family life and communication. With someone who does not intend to quarrel, disagreements are impossible, and such people take business decisions with a cold head. Any problems can be solved without serious consequences if approached constructively.
