Conflicts between people are inevitable. Finding two people with completely identical opinions is an impossible task. Thanks to several points of view, the situation is evaluated from different angles and the optimal solution to the problem is found. A correctly chosen line of behavior will allow you to overcome the crisis without consequences. Psychologist Kenneth Thomas dealt with the issue of behavior in conflict.
By properly resolving disagreements, relationships are strengthened and improved. One line of behavior prevails in a person. He prefers not to change her.
Author's method
Research psychologist Kenneth Thomas assessed the actions of disagreements on several points:
- the subject's tendency to take into account the interests of opponents, that is, the willingness to cooperate;
- firmness of intentions to defend their own interests, that is, the degree of assertiveness.
After a long work, five behavioral types were identified in controversial situations. Together with Ralph Keelman, he developed a test to determine the most common human model. The questionnaire is commonly referred to as the Thomas test (Thompson test).
The technique is quite simple. A dozen judgments describe each method of responding to a collision. They are randomly grouped into three dozen pairs. The subject must choose in each one, the most, in his opinion, correct statement.
Despite the seeming simplicity, the test results can be unexpected even for the subject. But understanding the strengths and weaknesses of the personality is noticeably easier. A special table serves as a key to the interpretation of the results.
It shows what type of behavior a person is prone to. Knowing this, it is easy to predict the development of the conflict and the methods for its successful resolution. According to Thomas's method, everyone chooses any of the proposed scenarios. For clarity, they are compared with the behavior of one of the animals.
Sharks prefer competition. Teddy bears need to strive to resolve conflicts. "Turtles" avoid collisions, avoid disagreements. "Fox" compromises, and "Sova" needs cooperation.
All proposed scenarios are not universal; they have their own pluses and minuses. The proposed models cannot constructively influence all conflicts.
Competition
People-"sharks" follow only personal interests in everything. They are not at all interested in the opinion of others. Sharks do not accept compromises. They are sure that the victory of one ends with the complete defeat of the other.
In an effort to achieve their goal at any cost, such people walk over their heads without hesitation. They are characterized by actions that are not entirely consistent with generally accepted ethics. It is not difficult for them to decide to deceive, even to go for forgery.
"Sharks" strive to have all the information about the opponent. But they are absolutely not interested in either a person's good name, or his spiritual comfort. It is possible to justify such a behavioral line only in the smallest number of situations.
This most often happens during an acute crisis. Usually, in this case, a person endowed with certain powers needs to put things in order as soon as possible, having achieved results at any cost. The rest of the situations do not justify the behavior of "sharks".
They can destroy long-term relationships. Often, conflicting behavior becomes a real problem for the people around him. This means that special care must be taken when communicating.
Adaptation
The complete opposite of the "shark" is the "teddy bear." He is prone to opportunism. With this type of behavior to please the opponent, the subject can easily abandon his own interests. Usually, this option characterizes people with severely low self-esteem.
They are convinced that their point of view is not deserving of consideration. This type can be successful in a situation where the subject of the dispute does not deserve any attention. Concession to an opponent practically guarantees the preservation of friendly relations.
In this case, the consequences of the collision will also be minimal. However, the abandonment of one's own interests can negatively affect all events in the subsequent life of a person.
There is a high risk of losing the respect of others, getting the title of spineless. Often, these are the people who are most often willingly manipulated. After identifying adaptability tendencies using the Thomas test, immediate work on self-esteem is necessary.
Evasion
For turtle people, conflict is unacceptable. They do their best to avoid sorting out the relationship directly or postpone the analysis of the situation. The position is distinguished not so much by the inability to defend one's own point of view, but by an extreme degree of disrespect for the interests of others.
It is common for the turtle to hide from a problem, rather than seek a solution. This behavior is caused by the “victim complex”. The tactics can be justified by the insignificance of the reason for the disagreement for the parties.
In a more serious situation, such an attitude can lead to an extreme increase in misunderstanding and concentration of mutual complaints. The protracted confrontation is becoming more and more painful for both sides.
It can end at any moment with a super-emotional clarification of the relationship. The consequences can become irreversible. If the result of the test is just such a result, a person needs to become more courageous, not afraid of problems. It is important to understand that the issue will disappear only after it is resolved.
Those left unanswered can deprive you of strength, turn life into an unbearable one. And it's impossible to hide all the time.
Compromise
"Foxes" seek to negotiate with opponents. Only partial satisfaction of the requirements of each party does not lead to a complete solution to the problem.
It is a respite. In the position of cunning, their complete dependence on the position of the opponent is their weakest point. If he is not going to sacrifice at least part of his interests, then the "fox" is a loser.
It is highly probable that the opposing side overestimates the demands, and then the opponent supposedly generously decides to sacrifice them to the desired level. For this reason, before compromising, it is important to collect all the information about the subject of the dispute so as not to lose.
If Thomas's testing shows a penchant for getting out of disagreements in this way, you should be more decisive in defending your own position.
Cooperation
Collaboration is ideal. The solution found in this case fully satisfies the claims of each of the parties. A solution requires wisdom with diplomatic ability. Therefore, people prone to such behavior are called "owls".
They do not tend to be infatuated with the outer side of disagreements. They try to grasp the essence and understand the reasons. Such people are ways to be honest with opponents. With these tactics, the adversary effortlessly becomes a partner, and disagreements are settled in constructive negotiations.
If, as a result of the test, such a result fell out, then the person should be congratulated. Thanks to his own discernment and the absence of major quarrels, he will achieve a lot.
The Thomas-Kilman questionnaire is often used in job interviews. Based on the results, it is easier to judge the applicant.
The technique allows you to assess the choice of a person's position in a working relationship. The information provides information about the influence of the newcomer on the atmosphere formed in the team before his appearance.
The Thomas test will be useful to everyone. It helps you objectively assess your behavior and understand what exactly makes it difficult to successfully resolve differences.
The technique will allow you to maintain friendly and working constructive relationships with others without complications for a long time.
