Statistics are unforgiving things. Every third man cheated on his second half at least once in his life, and every fourth man had or has a long-term love affair on the side. In other words, a mistress. What to do and how to behave if you find yourself in a situation when you find that your husband or boyfriend is unfaithful to you?
The situation happened, you found out about the betrayal. What to do and where to run? Keep silent or tell him that you know the truth? Divorce or forgive? With whom to consult?
A bunch of thoughts in the form of questions to yourself, to him, to what is happening rush through your head. You are overwhelmed with a variety of feelings, replacing each other at the speed of light. Here is anger and resentment, frustration and self-pity, guilt and shame, and many others. What to do in this state, the advice of a psychologist:
The first emotions may differ for different women: someone has shock or hysteria, others have a stupor or anger, a desire to take revenge on the offender. Whatever the reaction, you need to live it, not restrain yourself. But it is very important to do this alone with yourself or a psychologist so that neither your husband nor children can see you. Because in an emotional outburst, a person is able to perform actions that he will later regret
If you feel like crying, cry heartily, shout, howl. Do this as much as necessary. This energy must be thrown out so that it does not remain in the body and does not torment you in the future.
Do you feel like getting angry or even showing anger? Take a soft pillow and beat it well. You can also go to the gym and rock out on a punching bag.
Do everything to free yourself from surging emotions.
The second step is deciding what to do next. There may be several options for action
If you understand that the betrayal was one-time, for example, due to drunkenness, which is often the case, or due to stupidity, then you should close your eyes to it? This is provided that in marriage you are immensely happy and this happens for the first time.
The second option is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband and find out why this happened. Maybe something is wrong in your relationship for a long time and he is missing something? Or maybe you both have not loved each other for a long time, and this situation showed that it was time to part.
In any case, cheating is a bell signaling that something is wrong in the marital relationship, and two are always involved in this. If a person is satisfied with everything, all his needs are satisfied and he is satisfied with the situation, he will never get out of it on his own.
In a situation where the spouse regrets what he has done and wants to save the family, it is advisable to visit a family psychologist in order to understand what happened once and for all and never return to it.
