You loved each other, and you both felt so good. But no, you decided to have a baby. They waited, prepared, dreamed and now … The baby was born, but there was neither time nor energy left for her husband. What to do with my husband after giving birth to a child?
Indeed, most often in the first months after replenishment in the family, husbands are left on the sidelines. The spouse may feel like they are not at this celebration of life. He is no longer in the lead role, but practically in the crowd … Along with the electric swing and the baby monitor, the necessary tool … Now the child is more important and beloved. Men often feel resentment, jealousy, confusion, they have a longer and more difficult manifestation of their fatherly feelings. The woman would be glad to help, but the child requires so much attention, and the hormonal storms that have been frequent since pregnancy add oil to the fire. And now the happiness of parenting is overshadowed by squabbles with each other.
In this situation, you need to behave in about the same way as you would behave if you had the eldest child in the family. You need to prepare your dad in advance, explain that you will have very little time for him, that you will need his help and understanding, but all these are temporary problems, and very soon you will be his Muse again.
It is better if the dad takes an active part in caring for the newborn. Ideally, he should be able to completely replace you, well, not counting breastfeeding. That is, changing a diaper or cleaning a nose should not seem like science fiction to him. In the household, dad is irreplaceable, walking with a stroller on the street, while mom cooks, cleans up … sleeps without hind legs or takes a bath. It’s not so much about the household, but about the fact that joint pastime brings dad and child closer together, and joint care of the baby brings dad and mom closer together.
So, if the husband looks after the baby for several hours a day, he no longer perceives sitting with the child in the literal sense of the word, and you are deprived of many reproaches from the category: “Well, you don’t do anything all day”, and helping your wife (if she accepts it with gratitude and does not find fault) will return him a sense of need.
Learn to ask for this very help correctly: directly, gently, without an orderly tone and reproaches. You yourself would not have taken a breath of inspiration after the third sleepless night, but in order to give you the opportunity to sleep off, you also need to somehow inspire.
Your man still needs a confident, attractive woman. In general, a confident woman is liked by everyone except her less confident rivals. Don't let your self-esteem crash on your loose belly and cellulite. Yes, you need to work on your appearance, but the priority is now the child, and you recently carried and gave birth to him. It is quite normal that in the first six months to a year, during breastfeeding, your forms will be slightly different from the previous ones. It is customary to praise the roundness of pregnancy - well, of course - this is the miracle of a new life. So you have mercy to accept and love the postpartum roundness. As soon as time and strength appear, take measures for painless parting with them.
Try to find the strength and time for your husband. Strive to ensure that you have the opportunity to be sometimes only together. You cannot allocate 2-3 hours, let it be fifteen or even five minutes, but they should be. Cook him a delicious dinner, ask about his work, his well-being and mood. Say you love him, hug him.
If it seems to you that you will somehow figure it out with your husband when the baby grows up, then you are mistaken. Remember that your relationship with your spouse also affects your child. This is both the general atmosphere in the house, and your stress level and the relationship model that the baby sees in front of him every day. Don't think that your husband doesn't have any problems. He did not give birth, he does not know what cracked nipples and the power of postpartum hormones are, but a huge number of new responsibilities and responsibilities fell on his shoulders. This also, you know, requires moral costs. Be condescending, do not lose your sense of humor, save a little tenderness for him and help him get through this difficult period as much as you can.
