The arrival of a new family member is a long-awaited moment and, of course, a joyful one! Only many couples do not take into account the fact that "Up to" this moment they lived according to certain norms and rules, which have become part of the relationship and are hardly noticed anymore. When the structure of the family changes, the rules of interaction also change. Up to the most commonplace - who goes to the store for groceries, who and how to be responsible for everyday life, entertainment, etc. And this stage of the relationship is considered a crisis. Like any crisis, on the one hand, it brings changes and new opportunities, and on the other hand, it introduces uncertainty and vulnerability.
Necessary
- Patience
- Moral readiness for change
- Positive attitude towards what is happening
- Understanding that all couples go through this
- Partner support
Instructions
Step 1
Distribution of duties. Agree right away who is responsible for what. It doesn't matter how it will be gone before and the sooner you talk about who is now washing the dishes, cooking, making money, caring for the child …, the less discontent and claims to each other will accumulate. On the one hand, it seems that everything is clear anyway - but no. For example, a mother needs help taking care of her baby and the time she needs for herself - a beauty salon, a gym, meeting with friends, etc. And it may seem to a spouse that a mother with a child, sitting at home, does not really need her time - and so it is all the time. Also, and vice versa, it seems to each spouse that it is easier for the other during this period and the whole burden of the new situation falls only on his shoulders. And instead of mutual help, the spouses begin to compete - who is harder.
Step 2
Speak as much as possible. Discuss everything with each other - you have so many new things now, consult, tell. If something does not go the way you would like - do not be silent. Accumulated grievances are like water that wears away a stone … The female body at this time functions in a special way and the emotional sphere is very vulnerable. Tell your partner about your feelings, changes, and if you need support - ask, few people know how to guess about the desires of another.
Step 3
Remember, you are a couple! Remember more often the period when there were only you two - your acquaintance, dates, joint holidays … Looking at each other over time becomes through the prism of parental roles, but you continue to be for each other the only, unique, desired …. Leave a place and time when you are two people who love each other. A trip to the cinema, a restaurant for two - will help refresh the senses and fill them with special warmth. Remember what you used to love to do together? Bring back some types of shared pastime if possible, modify. And maybe over time, the baby will join you in your hobbies.
Step 4
Time together. Young mothers often think that dads are awkward in handling a child. Help them learn how to help you care for your baby. Sometimes it happens that the mother is absorbed in the baby and the spouse cannot find a place for himself in this duet. Thoughts come that when the baby grows up, then dad will be able to play with him, spend time …. Include dad in this process from the very birth of the child - joint emotions will help you feel support for each other and become closer. And trust and warmth will hold your family together.
