From the first birthday of the baby, we not only take care of him, but also build relationships with him. We understand how to build relationships with an adult, at least on an intuitive level, but with a baby … For some reason, it seems that everything should be different. He will not be able to answer right away, and it seems that he does not really understand what you are saying to him … little after all …
Children have so much sincerity, energy and individuality … where does it all go when they become adults?
Necessary
The desire to build a harmonious relationship with the child
Instructions
Step 1
Talk to your child. It is important to understand that you are a guide to the world for the child, you open it to him. And it doesn't matter that at first he doesn't answer you - he gets used to the voice of his parents, to speech, brain structures are actively developing, which are designed to process verbal information. Thus, you contribute to the mental development of the child. Through speech, the child learns to perceive emotions. Tell what is happening around, what you see, what you feel. If you are upset about something, you can say so - this will strengthen the connection between verbal and non-verbal. It is important to remember that the information should not be contradictory - if your whole body, facial expressions, intonation indicate that you are upset - then the mood should be described in the same categories, for example, "Mom is a little upset today …" and not "Nothing happened. Everything is fine … "By sending conflicting information, you make it difficult to learn to recognize emotions, and when the child grows up, it will be difficult for him to trust himself - he will be guided by the words of a significant person, and not by his own feelings.
Step 2
Children from birth are truthful in their emotions. It is in the process of upbringing that they learn to hide, replace, suppress them. Even if you do not quite like how the baby reacts - accept his feelings, he has the right to get angry and scream … Your task is to teach the child to express them in a socially acceptable way, but not to camouflage them. The child builds his behavior based on your reactions to his needs. If a child from time to time demonstrates reactions that you do not seem to encourage, for example, yelling in a store when you haven’t bought something, it means that somewhere it has been learned that this is how you can get what you want. It remains to understand when you managed to consolidate this and what were guided by - the minute "If only he would stop shouting …" or something else. Having understood this, you first correct your behavior and wait for the child's behavior to change.
Step 3
The predictability of the world. For young children, the predictability of the world is important - this is how trust in it arises in them, internal anxiety decreases, the psyche is formed more stable. For example, the daily routine becomes recognizable over time and the child is internally ready and knows what awaits him. And when the mother leaves the baby for the first time for a long time, she is not and this is a fact, but when she returns, it is not yet a fact. Only returning over and over again, the mother teaches the child to trust. For young children, there is no concept of time and such a property as to be patient / wait until they are familiar. If he is tired, he needs a rest right now … otherwise - whims, "bad behavior". With this in mind, it is easier for the parent to understand the child's behavior. Only in an atmosphere of trust, love, acceptance can a child develop fully. Of course, the world itself is unpredictable, and when a child discovers this for himself, he will already have the strength to cope. And there will be no need to control everything around to provide this most illusory predictability.
Step 4
Always ask yourself - what am I teaching a kid now? Especially when you don't know what to do - prohibit / allow, scold / praise. This can become a compass in the question of the right thing and or the wrong thing I am doing. When a child on the playground does not want to share a toy, you can "persuade" him based on considerations such as "It's not good to be greedy", "What will the mother of a baby with whom your child does not want to share" … or he can make a decision himself. whether he is or not, this is his toy - these will be the first steps towards independent decision-making, focusing on himself and his desires. In addition, the child's self-esteem will remain what is considered with him. Children have no concept of small / large at all - a different attitude. This is done by adults. You will be convinced of this when the child begins to ask - why you can, but not to him, and the argument - "Because you are small, and I am an adult" will not be convincing and offensive for him.
Step 5
You are an example to follow. If you declare and demand from the baby, for example, a careful attitude to things, then you yourself must demonstrate such an attitude. Otherwise, these will be double messages to the child and will not have much power. On the contrary, they teach the baby to say one thing and do another. A personal example is a special force, just like another child's example of bad behavior - if you draw your child's attention to it and discuss it with him, it may be enough to prevent him from behaving like that. Children learn a lot by looking at adults. The child is like a mirror of what is happening in the family, what parents teach by their example. And if something appears in the behavior of the baby that is alarming, this is an occasion to generally comprehend how the family lives, which is what each parent teaches. The family is a system and all family members are interconnected.
Step 6
Said - did! If you have promised something to your child, you must fulfill it. And even if you threaten something for bad behavior, you will have to carry it out. Firstly, it forms the position of consistent behavior and a serious attitude of the baby to the words of the mother. Teaches mom to take it seriously. Mom can not only joke and entertain, but also keep her word. Secondly, the child learns to take responsibility for his actions if he misbehaves on the playground - the promise to leave it if the behavior does not change gives the child the right to choose.
