The relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is rarely simple. Indeed, in the epicenter is the closest person for both women - a husband for one and a son for the other. How should a daughter-in-law behave to make this initially difficult relationship easy and harmonious?
I think everyone has encountered a situation where the mother-in-law is dissatisfied with the daughter-in-law and believes that she does little around the house, does not love her husband enough, etc. For her part, the daughter-in-law is annoyed at the remarks of her mother-in-law, she believes that she interferes too much in the life of the family. Often on this basis, misunderstandings and scandals arise. Sometimes it even ends with the breakup of the family.
How should you treat your mother-in-law?
Look at the situation through the eyes of your mother-in-law. She has been raising her son for many years, investing in him a huge amount of effort, money, her youth, and at some point a young girl comes who enjoys all or almost all of her son's attention. Mother fades into the background. Willy-nilly, this gives rise to a double feeling. On the one hand, the mother is certainly glad that her son is finding happiness, on the other hand, she is afraid of losing attention and love. It all depends on the woman herself, how much she is realized, happy in life, how exposed or free from the feeling of possessiveness and the desire to take care of her son. In many cases, the young wife automatically begins to be perceived as a rival, taking away the attention of her son. How can a daughter-in-law soften such an attitude?
In the Vedic literature, describing how people in the family should relate correctly from the point of view of harmony, it is recommended to treat the parents of the spouses better and more respectfully than to their parents. This applies to both the man and the woman. This attitude allows the husband's parents, especially his mother, to experience the least jealousy, and therefore, to reduce the negative component in the relationship with the mother-in-law.
Distribute "rights" to a spouse with a mother-in-law
A wife's feelings of possessiveness towards her husband can play a negative role in her relationship with his mother. If a wife demands and wants all the attention to be given to her, she inevitably causes displeasure in her mother-in-law, who in fact also has the right to receive a filial debt in the form of care, help, etc. The daughter-in-law must respect this right and even encourage her husband to help his mother (within reasonable limits, of course).
If the mother-in-law requires too much attention and help, then, in fact, she feels a lack of attention and care. This can again be compensated for by sincere respect from the daughter-in-law and recognition of her rights to a part of her son's attention.
What if the mother-in-law strongly interferes with the life of the family?
A situation often arises when the mother-in-law interferes in the life of the family and tries to control everything that happens. In such cases, the daughters-in-law begin to violently resent and violate the principle of respect, which leads to the deterioration of an already difficult relationship.
Here it is important to clearly define the boundaries and, observing all the previous principles, make it clear to the mother-in-law until what point she can interfere in the life of the family. However, this issue should be dealt with by the husband. In no case should a daughter-in-law discuss this issue with her mother-in-law, otherwise it may be considered by her as a “redistribution of the sphere of influence” from a person who has no right to do so. The mother-in-law will take it much better from her son.
To build a constructive relationship with your mother-in-law, you need to know several features of this relationship and adhere to the principles. In many cases, this will be enough to create a welcoming atmosphere in the home.
