Cheating on a loved one is a powerful blow that causes suffering, destroys relationships, and entails a loss of trust. Sometimes cheating becomes the cause of prolonged depression. A person who has experienced treason has to re-learn to trust.
Necessary
- - calmness;
- - the ability to forgive;
- - belief in yourself and people.
Instructions
Step 1
Cool it down. When you first find out that a loved one has changed, you are overwhelmed with emotion. In psychology, this state is called affect: excitement makes you dizzy, the earth leaves from under your feet and it seems that the world is crumbling. Being in a state of passion, a person is ready to tear and throw. A person overwhelmed by emotions, in fact, is capable of doing mischief, therefore, before doing anything, you need to let your emotions subside. Otherwise, you can do something that you will later regret, and it will be impossible to fix the situation. Try to let off steam in such a way that no one (neither you nor the traitor) gets hurt: scream, cry, hit the pillow, but do not make hasty decisions and do not take out anger at others.
Step 2
Try to understand. Every action has its own reason - cheating is no exception. An old Indian proverb says: "Before you judge a person, try to walk in his shoes." Imagine yourself in the place of a traitor and ask yourself: what exactly could have prompted him to commit this terrible act? Perhaps your passion was missing something in your relationship with you? Psychologists say that women who cheat on their husbands are often pushed into someone else's bed by deep dissatisfaction with their marriage. This applies to men to a lesser extent: more than half of male traitors claim that they are happily married. You can ask directly about the reasons for cheating. If you do not want to see and communicate with him personally, you can write him a letter.
Step 3
Sorry. Pain and resentment will torment you until you find the courage to forgive. The writer Malachi McCourt said that being offended is as stupid as if you yourself drank the poison, but waited for your offender to be poisoned. Regardless of whether you hope to continue the relationship with the person who cheated on you or not, try to forgive him. Try a technique from psychotherapy: visualize the person's face as vividly as possible and mentally repeat that you forgive him. If you are sincere in your efforts, over time you will feel relief, liberation, cleansing.
Step 4
Don't be discouraged. Often, people who have experienced betrayal are disappointed in the opposite sex and in love in general. Do not tolerate the shortcomings of one person who betrayed you at all. If one person cheated on you, this does not mean that there are no people in the world who can be faithful. And perhaps the traitor himself bitterly regretted what he had done, and will never repeat this monstrous mistake.
Step 5
Believe in yourself. If a loved one cheated on you, this does not mean that something is wrong with you. Remember: you are worthy of real, sincere, devoted love. Don't betray yourself, don't let cheating undermine your self-confidence.
