The most hated question for children is also the most popular among adults: "Who do you love more - dad or mom?" He instills in the child's head the idea that one of his parents can be better, more authoritative. Over the years, this idea is transformed into an internal conflict. And already an adult is tormenting himself with the question of what to do - like mom or dad?
It is necessary
If you want to reconcile your dad and mom in your head, you will need some time to sort out family conflicts. Even if you avoided talking and thinking about them, you will need to give them some time before they stop ruining your life
Instructions
Step 1
Believe that differences in views between parents are good, not bad. First of all, try to deeply immerse yourself in the idea that each of the parents is right in their own way. Imagine yourself in the role of an arbitrator who wants to objectively understand the conflict. Try to understand the motives of both participants. Why are differences in understanding of parental life good? They provide you with different strategies for adjusting to life.
Step 2
Determine in which situations you should act like a dad, and in which - like a mom. Generally speaking, women usually teach children to adapt to the world without changing it. "Do not stick your head out, do not cross, do not conflict, do not swing your rights" - this is their credo. Men, on the other hand, teach children to adapt the world for themselves. “Dare, act, fight, defend your rights,” they usually say. The secret to happiness and success is knowing how to use these strategies to suit your task. Adaptation is always inadequate. Constant assertion of rights and attempts to remake the world are also far from the norm. Mom and Dad also own both strategies, just different of them prevail. So take an example from them.
Step 3
Get ready for heart-to-heart conversations. There are situations when conflicts are better spoken out than hushed up. If you grew up in a single mother's family, and your relationship with the opposite sex does not go well, you need to understand why the mother was left alone. Learn from her example how not to behave in order not to become a single mother. Even if she claims that the father, who abandoned the family, is to blame for everything, do not be a naive person. Try to understand what it is about her that attracted an unreliable and dishonest man. Work on yourself so as not to repeat her fate.
