Any of us have come across some gossip and intrigue. Usually gossip occurs where there is envy. And intrigue is where there is something to profit from: a position, someone else's "half", a source of funding … How to neutralize intriguers and stop gossip?
Instructions
Step 1
Gossip, rumors, intrigues, when best friends, exemplary spouses, personality and collective collide with their foreheads … Gossip appears for various reasons - either there is a reason, ethical social and moral norms are violated, or a person simply causes envy, as a bright personality that provokes unconscious irritation people are less interesting and noticeable.
Succumbing to emotions, falling into traps set by insidious schemers, slandered, people fall under the wheels of the ruthless mechanisms of life. Families and collectives are split, careers created over the years are crumbling, and the fruits of many years of work are reaped by others - those who have stepped over their own consciences and walked through other people's fates. How to recognize a gossip and schemer?
Step 2
Gossipers love washing bones behind their backs. When listening to dubious rumors and discussions that represent other people in a negative light, know that as soon as you leave the room, you will be discussed in the same way. Gossipers love to sculpt labels. without bothering to argue what they say.
There are gossipers who gossip just out of boredom and for fun. And there are those who pursue some kind of malicious intent - for some of their own selfish goals they want to quarrel everyone with everyone, to set people up against each other, as a rule, in order to get some kind of benefit, for example, denigrating others, to rise against this background and maybe take a high position or take someone else's husband or wife away, etc. This is the worst kind of gossip - schemers.
Negative characteristics without argumentation are the first identifying signs of a gossip. Sometimes gossipers distort facts, interpret them, attributing a global negative meaning to an insignificant circumstance. Here you must be doubly vigilant: you are faced with a schemer.
Despite the fact that gossip, in general, is a rather disgusting thing, gossips and schemers have a trusting manner of communication, ostentatious indifference to your life, a willingness to help and give advice in any situation. Gossipers love to delve into the "situation"! Moreover, they have a real talent for getting into the soul and swarming there out of the kindest, in their words, motives.
Step 3
How to protect yourself from gossip and intrigue?
If you see that a person is prone to gossip - try to be less frank in front of him.. And if your friend or girlfriend is a gossip, keep this in mind and do not give them unnecessary information about yourself and other people. Do not take part in the discussion behind the eyes of other people. Even if your words are completely harmless, they will be rechecked, perverted and give them a meaning that you did not put in. It is best to stop any attempts to "wash the bones" of others in front of you. If you don't have the heart to say directly that you are disgusted with gossip, refer to the lack of free time, or that you are not interested in it. Ideally, try not to communicate with such people, and if there is a forced contact - do not say a word about personal!
What if you are the victim of gossip and intrigue?
If you don't care what people say about you, then silence will be golden. Do not make excuses, do not prove otherwise! In any case, these will be just words, but the situation will still remain ugly, and people around will, no, no, and they will think: there is no smoke without fire … Therefore, it is better to act: immediately find out who is spreading rumors, rigidly demand from the gossip to stop talking behind the eyes, and it will be more effective if the request to stop gossiping is voiced by you publicly - then your ill-wisher will be demoralized.
It is even worse when the gossip is also a schemer. For example, he slanders you to the "second half", to the boss … In this case, it makes sense to conduct a "confrontation". Of course, if you are sure of your own infallibility.
Step 4
The most reliable protection against gossip is, nevertheless, caution in dealing with people and crystal honesty. If you are not an angel in the flesh, but at the same time defiantly bright, or smart, or beautiful, or rich, or lucky in love, or just something very different from others - be prepared for the fact that you will be discussed behind your back.
Do not be afraid to put an intriguer and an envious person in place, using irrefutable arguments to dispel gossip like a bad dream. Gossipers are afraid of strong and courageous people who are not afraid of the truth about themselves. They themselves hate being taken out to clean water. So the conflict in this situation is not terrible and even appropriate. In any case, you will save yourself from bad company.
