A shadow is a combination of qualities, characteristics, beliefs, etc. that we do not accept in ourselves. We tend to project our unacceptable qualities. Not wishing to encounter unacceptable properties in ourselves, we attribute them to other people, the environment, and, having attributed them, we persecute: we seek out, pay attention, resent, blame. To make this process from destructive to constructive, it can be used consciously.
Exploring your shadow is not an easy task. Contact with the shadow causes unpleasant experiences and resistance. If you do not feel the strength to withstand the negativity, postpone this work until better times.
However, despite the negative emotions that shadow work evokes, it is extremely important. By rejecting something in ourselves that we think is bad, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to change and, even worse, the opportunity to be ourselves, to be flexible and adaptive. After all, as K. G. Jung, in the shadows are hidden our creative powers and those resources that we do not even suspect in ourselves.
To study your shadow, you should apply the mechanism of psychological defense, projection purposefully. For this, a technique that Gestal psychologists use in their work is suitable. The technique is as follows:
- Think of the people or type of people who make you reject, want to distance yourself, or even righteous anger.
- Write on a sheet of paper their properties, features, attitudes that especially annoy you, repulse, cause misunderstanding and indignation.
- When the list is ready, go back to the beginning and ask yourself questions about each item: In what situations do I behave this way? How do I manifest this quality in my life? What makes me deny the possibility that I possess this property?
The more negative properties that anger you, you find in yourself, in your behavior, acknowledge this and outline the boundaries for their manifestation, the less they will annoy you in the behavior of other people, and the more holistic and confident you will be in yourself. …
