Personal space is not just a term. Any person needs solitude, where he feels himself outside of other people's manipulations, in complete safety, feels himself the master of his time, thoughts, feeling complete freedom. How to organize your life in order to feel psychological comfort and protect your personal space from unwanted intrusions?
Personal space surrounds each person. You can see this with the naked eye on the example of how far we allow different people to approach us. We try to keep strangers away - at a distance of one and a half meters. If a stranger or unfamiliar person crosses an imaginary line - this is an intrusion, pleasant or unpleasant - this is the second question. Within a radius of one and a half meters, only "friends" can be. But a loved one reduces this distance to zero - and this is a sign of trust on our part. In fact, "personal space" has several dimensions: material, spiritual or psychological, and very intimate. It is here, alone with ourselves, that we can put our thoughts in order, feel inspiration, look into our souls, think over plans for the future, talk with our own conscience, heal psychological trauma, calm down and feel harmony and silence in ourselves.
Material boundaries of personal space
Each person has a need for his own things, in his own space, where he feels "at ease", in relative safety. The wider the boundaries of the material personal space, the more protected we feel from the outside world. Let's notice how we feel, for example, in someone else's kitchen. Stress fatigue comes on very quickly. But on our own - we can be for hours. Personal space begins with your own towel, which no one touches except you, a personal fountain pen, a desk, a personal computer, your own room where you can close the door and feel independent, be alone with yourself. Where do the material boundaries of personal space end? Most likely, where there is a "common" area, where you intersect with those who live nearby. A person who has everything in order with his personal space will rarely encroach on someone else's personal territory. However, there are individuals who easily invade, and sometimes subjugate the personal space of another, even if it is fraught with conflict.
Psychological personal space
If everything is more or less obvious with the boundaries of material space, then psychological personal space is a subtle and complex concept. You can call it the inner world, which contains very personal emotions, memories, attachments, love, friendship, personal human values. It would seem that this ethereal area is difficult to penetrate. But in fact, it turns out that doing this is easier than ever. Inappropriate questions "Would you like to have a baby?", "Are you sleeping with …" and other personal questions already mean that your personal space is being invaded. It is especially painful when close people encroach on the inner world. A vigilant mother finds her daughter's diary and publicly discusses the notes made. A loved one is trying to control your thoughts, daily routine, personal correspondence. A jealous wife rummages in her mobile phone or looks for "traces of crimes" on your computer. A home tyrant (husband, father, brother) criticizes your appearance and prohibits wearing a dress that is too sexy, in his opinion, or using makeup. Your best friend elicits the details of your intimate life. Constant control can make a person restless, unhappy! In such cases, a person becomes isolated, becomes secretive. And not always because of something to blame. It's just hard to live when someone constantly looks over your shoulder into the intimate world, unceremoniously crawls into your soul.
How to behave in order to maintain personal sovereignty?
Be courageous and patient, explain to your loved ones, tactfully and delicately, that it is unpleasant for you when they enter your room without knocking, rummage through your things, use your towel or analyze the contents of a bag, computer, mobile phone, wardrobe. Try to convince loved ones invading your psychological space that such a path will lead to a deterioration in the relationship. Draw a bleak prospect - how you will begin to lie, withdraw, hide, hide, protect yourself from contact, as a result of which your annoying "controllers" risk losing your trust, sincere attitude and precious communication, which will become dry and formal. Act boldly, sparing no words. Try to become a "word artist" for a while! Anyone who tries to subjugate your soul automatically turns into an enemy, and enemies are not told the truth. And one of the most unpleasant punishments for a person who is forcibly imprisoned is total control and surveillance of his personal space - but is the family not a prison? Don't be afraid to sound overly pathetic. Arguments should be accurate and persuasive, but the conversation should not be nervous. Speak calmly and judiciously. If they don't understand you, turn on "plan B" and close access to your personal belongings and affairs. Conflicts will be forgotten, but the result will please you, you will win a small victory and win back your personal territory.
On the other hand, take a critical look at yourself. Perhaps your behavior is not perfect, and you give cause for distrust? Or maybe you yourself often behave tactlessly, carelessly in relations with other people, rudely violate the boundaries of someone else's space? Taking care of your own independence, do not forget that personal space is not only you.
