This is why personal space is called that, what exactly you decide whether to let people into it or not. However, in our age of high technologies it is very difficult to remain alone, and at any moment we can become the object of attention of those with whom we would not like to communicate here and now. In this case, it is important to be able to set boundaries around your personal space.
Only we decide - "yes" or "no"
It often happens that when we are asked why we did not pick up the phone, we begin to apologize guiltily, instead of saying that at that moment there was no opportunity to talk to the person. And at the same time feel the inner confidence that we have every right to do so. The presence of a telephone does not mean that you are obliged to answer at first request - it is primarily your telephone to call the one you need to call. And you decide personally whether to answer calls or not.
To break away from this addiction, try to do without communication means for one day: turn off the Internet and your phone, be alone with yourself. And you will see how much freer you feel when you realize that you owe nothing to anyone. And think over the boundaries of personal space: what you will do and what you don’t want and disagree.
At work, you can hang a sign on the door so you don't get disturbed. And if someone does come by, insist that you need to finish urgent work. Usually 4 phrases are enough for a person to understand that your decision will not change:
- I must finish an urgent matter before evening;
- I have to meet the deadline, the work is important;
- I was glad to see you, come back again;
- let's talk tomorrow, now I have to work.
Don't be afraid to miss something
To do this, you need to learn to say "no" not only to others, but also to yourself. When the phone rings, many pick up the phone without hesitation, because they are afraid to miss something. And if they don't, then with each new signal they feel a growing anxiety: "What if something important?"
The same fear drives people when they endlessly switch TV channels: “What if it’s more interesting there than here?”. True, there are people who are able to watch several programs at the same time. But mostly, subconsciously, we are afraid to miss something important.
What is behind this? Diffidence. We think that others are smarter than us, that they are always aware of everything, and we do not have time to do anything. By any means, you need to give up these thoughts and allow yourself to live the way you want and only you can live - an exclusive copy on this planet. You decide whether to pick up the phone or not, talk to this person now or not, buy this thing or not, and so on.
Jammed record
This method will help you to refuse an unprofitable offer or action that you do not want to take, especially if the other person insists. During this time, we may feel guilty (because we have to refuse), the habit of being nice, or something else may work. It is important to grasp this feeling, forbid it to yourself and "become a stuck record." The essence of the method lies in the fact that you endlessly repeat similar phrases until the interlocutor refuses his proposal:
- "Thanks for the offer, I need to work."
- "Now I can't - a lot of work"
- "I have a very important job"
- “Work does not wait,” etc.
It is better to speak in short phrases, without getting bogged down in an argument - this will show that you are really busy and focused on the matter.
Offer a compromise
Especially persistent can be offered a compromise - to offer to meet not today, but on another day. If they ask for help, offer to do not all the work, but some part. This will not be a complete rejection and will not overload you in time. It is also important here not to feel guilty that you did not meet the person halfway. Know how to say “no” to yourself too, if you cannot help a person now. This will act fairly to yourself, which is also important. You can't be good to everyone every minute of your life. And is this the main thing? The main thing is to do your job, not forgetting about others and at the same time not putting them on your neck. In everything - the rule of the golden mean.
