They say that he is jealous - that means he loves. But sometimes jealousy becomes so strong that there is no room for love. It is impossible to insult, humiliate, hit a loved one! Love is not aggressive. Jealousy is aggressive. What is the danger of jealousy, and why shouldn't it grow in the soul, killing love?
Jealousy is a tyrannical feeling. It is not without reason that they say that jealous grooms turn out to be indifferent husbands, and from jealous brides - hateful wives. Love makes you happy, jealousy makes you unhappy. If jealousy prevailed in a person, then love has left his heart, which is expressed in trust, in the wish for happiness. At the heart of jealousy is not love, but a multifaceted inferiority complex - a mixture of mistrust, pride, deliberate defeat and possessiveness, which predetermines a person as a thing, depriving him of the right to be himself. And when this emotion grows and takes on painful features, the preservation of the relationship is generally questionable. Not everyone can endure daily scenes of jealousy.
Jealousy often manifests itself in a manic search for "evidence" that, in fact, have nothing to do with real betrayal. A jealous person subconsciously wants to make sure he is right, to make sure of the worst assumptions. It seems to a jealous person that by "bringing out on clean water" and subordinating a partner for the sake of his own calmness, he will find the lost harmony. Alas, everything happens exactly the opposite. A jealous person in an effort to control a partner goes further, leading the relationship to a dead end. Under the pressure of jealousy from a partner, a person loses the ability for sincere relationships, becomes isolated, becomes secretive. Therefore, husbands or wives who lie to their "halves" most often appear where there is jealousy.
Jealousy is blind, and the logic of a jealous person is often absurd. A jealous person seeks to spoil the mood of those who are near by endless "interrogations with addiction", whims, emotional outbursts of negativity. A jealous person is inclined to accuse a loved one not only of real misconduct, but also of imaginary, or even completely invented sins! After all, the imagination of a jealous person sometimes becomes monstrous.
Calm explanations of these or those imaginary crimes do not work on the jealous person. The arguments of reason are taken into account reluctantly, any circumstance is examined through a magnifying glass, and insignificant details are perceived as fatal circumstances. The real state of affairs is seen in a distorted light. The devil of jealousy turns a "fly into an elephant", disfigures in the eyes of a jealous person and the object of his love, and those who are absolutely not involved in the conflict contrived by the jealous person.
If a person's life is occupied by a jealous partner, constantly spying on and looking for evidence of infidelity, depression arises, or even "flying in a dream and in reality", a lie, hiding the truth, looking for an outlet. If you look at it, then spouses or partners are usually pushed to cheating by their annoying "halves" who unceremoniously revise the life of a loved one, often losing a sense of proportion in words and actions, thereby pushing the partner away from themselves. If mutual love or affection is strong, the one who has been tortured with jealousy withdraws into himself, "folds his wings", becomes internally indifferent to his own life, and sometimes falls into a sluggish and almost imperceptible depression. So a relationship poisoned with jealousy gives birth to losers, destroys a career, deprives a person of creative manifestations, and in the end - makes a partner internally lonely and unhappy. Such a person loses the ability to love. And the painful, dull, destructive loneliness for both begins, where each pulls the strap of family life, forgetting about the joys of life and taking daily squabbles, and even scandals - for granted.
Love is not only emotional, spiritual and physical affection, but also respect for the personality of another. Jealousy in advance dooms a loved one to disrespect, sometimes very demonstrative, undermining the authority of the individual among others. Spouses obsessed with jealousy can easily throw an ugly public scuffle, discrediting both themselves and their "soul mate" in the eyes of those who turned out to be an unwitting witness to a difficult scene.
Aggressive, entrenched jealousy suppresses positive emotions in a person, making him suspicious, rude, and agitated. A person seized with jealousy tends to verbal and physical violence against the personality of another, to humiliation of a partner or self-humiliation - in an attempt to arouse pity, oblige, deprive a free emotional life. And this most often leads to the fact that the "injured" party decides to change his life not only emotionally, but also physically - committing real betrayal or breaking off relations with an annoying hysterical partner in order to find at least some peace and freedom.
The main problem of a jealous person is his own self-esteem.
The only way is to distance yourself from your partner and understand: jealousy is a destructive emotion, and when neglected it is a disease. You should not torture him and yourself, it is more productive to deal with solving your psychological problems. Turn to a psychologist if jealousy goes off scale, it becomes obvious to others. Put yourself in order externally and internally. Refuse alcohol, which is known to provoke conflicts based on old grievances and annoying accidents. Dedicate time to your hobby, find an interesting activity. In other words, redirect energy in a positive direction, increase your self-esteem.
Having gained self-respect, a person becomes self-sufficient, independent - which means that he will value relationships with a partner, respect his choice, and reckon with his personal space. This means that such relations will be more stable, more protected from outside intrusion - in the form of a rival or rival, who, as you know, appear where relations have long since cracked.
Of course, all this does not apply to light pricks of jealousy, which inevitably mix into the feeling of love and serve, rather, an additional incentive to give the partner confidence that they are not indifferent to him. In addition, slight jealousy keeps feelings in good shape, forcing a person to improve - externally and internally. After all, when you feel that there is a sensitive, understanding and close person next to you, you don't really want to look at strangers.
