Often women complain about the lack of care from loved ones. They would like someone to help. But for some reason people are in no hurry to do it. Is everyone around you so insensitive? How can you teach your community to take care of you?
Instructions
Step 1
First, understand why others have stopped caring about you.
To do this, observe your behavior for one week. Namely - what you say and do when someone wants to help you. Write it down in a notepad or file. Divide the file into two columns. In the first, write the situation, in the second - how I reacted to this situation. For the first week, you just write down your actions and do not analyze them.
Step 2
Analyze the records in the second week.
Below you can see what those who are not being helped usually do and say. This behavior teaches others to take initiative and care.
Someone says that they do not need help. This often happens automatically. Let's say a husband walks into the kitchen and asks how to help. And in response, they give him out on the machine - no, don't.
Step 3
Many women criticize assistants. Let's say an adult daughter brought food home, and in response he hears - why did you buy it, we already have it. Naturally, my daughter immediately has a response - I will not bring anything else into the house. The son wiped the dust - not as thoroughly as he would like, and the husband nailed the picture and did not remove the dust. After criticism, there is a natural reaction - I will not do this anymore.
Step 4
They teach. During actions, loved ones stand above the soul and give instructions. You cut vegetables with the wrong knife, you wash with the wrong powder, you sweep the floor the wrong way, etc.
They try to do everything unnoticed. The husband comes home from work, and the house has beauty and shine. It's great, by the time my husband arrives, everything around the house has already been done. And so every time, over time, the husband gets used to the fact that the house is clean. Ceases to appreciate it. Takes it for granted that the house is clean. Sometimes it is good to praise yourself and show that without you this cleanliness in the house would not exist.
Step 5
Pretends not to need help. He drags heavy bags of groceries from the store, then puts them in the refrigerator, and at the same time there is no hint that it would be nice to go to the store together. And how the partisan endures, assuming that the husband will someday figure it out himself.
Step 6
They say - "it's not worth it", "nothing at all", "not worth gratitude". Instead of boasting about what I did - "yes, I did it great, right?"
He does not know how to thank for what he has done. Each person is pleased when he is thanked for his efforts. After all, he tried to do something. And in response, ignorance, not a remark of what was done, and possibly discontent.
Step 7
So, by analyzing the entries in the file, you figured out what kind of behavior you are depriving yourself of help. Now give your loved ones the opportunity to take care.
On the second week, give thanks every day for every little thing and deed done for you. Do not try to immediately rush into battle and do something on your own. Let your family get used to caring for you again. This will take some time.
Every time someone helps you, smile, take a breath, slowly count to three, and say thank you. Only thanks. Criticism, caustic remarks and the words "oh well, it wasn't worth it", "I would have done everything myself" are not appropriate here.
Step 8
It will take another couple of weeks, because not everyone knows how to compliment and praise.
Emphasize the importance of help often. Then people will feel needed.
You can say the phrases: “It's great that you thought to help me. Thank you, I am so pleased."
And after a month, if you do everything right, you will begin to see results. But, it is important to continue thanking the helpers further.
