When a stepfather comes to the house, the problem of how to call him becomes one of the primary ones. In this case, it all depends on what age the child is, what kind of relationship the wife's children and her new husband will be able to build, whether they will become friends and how comfortable life together will be.
The appearance of a stepfather in the family rarely goes smoothly and does not cause difficulties in relations with the wife's children. It's good if there was enough time to make friends or get used to each other. It is worse if the news of global changes in the family coincides with an acquaintance.
Psychologists believe that it is wrong to represent the new husband of the mother as a "new dad". The blood dad is one, regardless of how he treats the child and whether he takes part in his upbringing after the divorce. It is better if, when meeting, the stepfather introduces himself by name or calls himself uncle + name.
Further development of the relationship will determine the degree of intimacy and trust. The child himself, without coercion and persuasion, will decide what to call a person who claims to be a father. As you know, not the father who gave birth, but the one who raised and brought up.
Why young children quickly and easily call their stepfather dad
Babies are very sensitive to the mood of adults. The connection with my mother is especially strong. And if the mother internally wants the child to call his stepfather father, the baby responds to this desire and begins to call the new family member dad.
If there is no communication with your own father, then this does not cause any doubts or internal conflict. Over time, such treatment becomes habitual, and the child perceives the stepfather as a father. With all the conflicts and contradictions that would arise in the communication of blood relatives of parents and children.
If communication with his own father occurs regularly, then from time to time a small child has doubts and questions. It is important to explain the situation to the child as the adults themselves see it, without generating hostility towards any of the dads.
How to call a stepfather to a teenager
Much depends on how the stepfather managed to place himself in the family. Flirting, indulging and begging will not lead to anything good. The teenager will feel insincere. And even calling his stepfather dad, he will stumble all the time before uttering this word. Or he will learn to cheat, realizing that he has the opportunity to purchase pleasant bonuses.
In any case, this is not the case when the word "dad" will be pronounced on a spiritual impulse. Lies and insincerity at any time can lead to awkwardness or a conflict situation.
It's good if there are friendly relations between the stepfather and the teenager and the question of calling him dad or uncle + name does not play a big role. The main thing is that this is pronounced sincerely and does not cause embarrassment to any of the family members.
It is not necessary to drag out the word "dad" out of yourself in the desire to please mom or deserve a gift. You need to call your stepfather as your heart tells you, and at the same time try to build a comfortable or friendly relationship. It not so rarely happens when the stepfather becomes a very dear, close person, and it does not matter at all how his wife's child calls him.
It may be worth talking frankly with adults to either ask permission to call your stepfather dad, or to explain why this is unacceptable or undesirable. In any case, the whole family should not live with the burden of uncertainty.
