This is a disease that is well known to those who have alcohol or drug addicts in their families. Codependency leads to the fact that one person begins to fully live the life of another: it controls his habits and time, requires an account of every action or decision, prohibits leaving the house or meeting friends. Codependency leads to the fact that a person lives only for the sake of controlling the actions of a loved one, believing that this saves him.
Codependents have low self-esteem, believe they have a responsibility to help others, and impose this help. In a relationship, they do everything to please the partner, even what he can do himself. They are victims. Such people cannot live alone, and lose interest in their lives when they fall in love. Codependent - "unrecognized hero, does not spare himself for others." And while embodying this scenario, he will unconsciously choose an alcoholic or a drug addict as a partner in order to “save” him all his life.
A person gets codependency in childhood if there was an alcoholic, drug addict or other addict in his family. The reason may be excessive control over the child by the parents, and if a person grew up in a healthy family, a long relationship with an alcoholic or drug addict. The codependent considers his way of life to be natural, and sees the problems that arise as injustice on the part of other people or life in general.
Codependency of a family member leads to the fact that the addict's craving for alcohol or drugs increases, because he does not bear responsibility for himself and knows that he will be “saved”. Everything is forgiven to an alcoholic or a drug addict, he is everywhere "covered" by a codependent partner who is afraid of shame. As a result, it turns out that, wanting to save a loved one, a codependent person himself pushes him to collapse. And with him and myself.
To cure codependency, the first thing a person needs to do is acknowledge the fact that they have it. After that, you should collect more information about the disease, communicate in thematic forums or in self-help groups for codependents. And it is very good if there is an opportunity to get an appointment with a psychologist early.
