She is very close, you can touch her, barely stretching out your hand. She is very close and seems to be the same as before, familiar, close and dear to the heart, but endlessly alien. She is very close, but at the same time incredibly far away, in her own dimension. You understand that now you cannot be sure of anything. It was your confidence that let you down: in mutual harmony, that you are loved, that she deserves love, that happiness is possible. And then it happened. You are tormented because you have no idea how to forget about her betrayal in order to live on.
Instructions
Step 1
Look at the root. More often than not, infidelity is just a symptom of multiple problems. It cannot happen suddenly, out of the blue, for no reason, no reason. There are always reasons. And if you still want to keep your relationship - get to the bottom of the root causes. You need to gather your will into a fist and have a confidential conversation with the girl (wife). During this conversation, ask for the reasons that prompted her to cheat. It's good if among them there are those problems that you can solve together.
Step 2
Stop looking for the culprit from time to time. Looking back into the past, you are afraid to step into the future, because you do not see it. Only by stopping looking around, you can turn your gaze to the path along which you have to go. The fact is that in such a situation there are no right or wrong. In fact, one of you provoked, and the other stopped resisting, succumbing to the provocation. If you want to solve the problem that has arisen, start with yourself. Ask yourself how you can help rebuild your relationship. The task, frankly, is not an easy one, but the game is worth the candle. So treat this as a chance to start the game from the very beginning, only now you will move along the playing field, not relying on chance, but perfectly understanding the rules.
Step 3
Remember only the good. According to psychological research, couples who have not broken up due to infidelity tend to recognize the importance of each to each other. As soon as you suppress this feeling in yourself, the motivation for maintaining the relationship immediately disappears. Therefore, do not allow yourself and your beloved to forget about all the bright and joyful moments that you happened to experience together.
Step 4
Step over feelings of vulnerability or guilt so that you can analyze the foundational criteria for your union. This includes your joint actions, common interests, ways of raising children, life aspirations. In a word, remember everything that is typical for the two of you, those pieces of the puzzle that once perfectly aligned with all their protrusions, and thanks to which you felt that you were made for each other.
Step 5
Having given your relationship a second chance, never, under any circumstances, do not mention cheating out loud (because you will not stop thinking about it soon, perhaps never). If you start to stir up the past anew, everything will repeat itself all over again: mutual accusations, reproaches, quarrels, aggression, mistrust. Thus, you will only enclose both of you in a kind of vicious circle, from which it is incredibly difficult to get out. Therefore, discuss, draw conclusions (because it is not always possible to understand), take action, and then bury it once and for all.
