After a divorce, two stages begin in a person's life - mourning the old, life together and building oneself as a separate person. And it is better to move on to the second stage when the mourning process is over, so as not to make mistakes.
Divorce is the beginning of a new life
Divorces are different - by mutual agreement, desirable and completely unwanted. In any case, this is a serious life crisis. It will be easier if the person in marriage was a self-sufficient person and relied not only on a partner, but also on himself. But even in this case, time is needed to restore peace of mind. Going through difficult life changes, there is always a feeling of losing the old way. What was unbearable day after day for you will suddenly seem like a very important part of life, even if divorce brings joy and relief.
Stay alone with yourself, give free rein to feelings. Surprisingly well, the technique can work - wrap yourself in a blanket and, while drinking tea with a candy, take pity on yourself. Take care of yourself, but do not become limp.
Take a break from your relationship
After a divorce, you often want to plunge into a new relationship in order to fill the void. This should not be done categorically, because subconsciously you will begin to compare the new partner with the old one: “but he shrugs the same way as my ex, holds the mug in the same way…” and so on. The divorce has not yet been experienced, and the internal dialogue continues, as disappointment, anger, resentment, pain still remain.
Ask a loved one or girlfriend, friend to help you. Put a picture of your ex in front of you and shout at it together, swear, laugh, cry. As a rule, after such therapy, the photo is sent to the trash can and there is a feeling of freedom from the old.
Seek support
To avoid the desire to return everything back, seek support. Sometimes we ourselves do not know how many people are ready to respond and help, listen, hug, and sometimes wipe away our tears. Yes, you may not need help, but knowing that you can rely on someone already gives you a feeling of confidence and gratitude. Plus, it will help you build a trusting relationship with the world again.
Don't be afraid to ask
The time after divorce is the time to recognize yourself in a new life. Don't be afraid to ask yourself questions and answer them sincerely. The main thing is to avoid the format: "why me?" - there is a risk of driving yourself into a dead end and lowering self-esteem. Don't be a critic to yourself.
Think about how you would live if you weren't married. What would you achieve? What would be inspiring? Is there still a desire to achieve what you dreamed of before marriage? If so, how can you use the gained life experience to achieve the goal. Remind yourself of anything you turned down in a relationship. Make a list and do something from the list every day. And if you have a global goal, then devote time to developing the milestones to achieve it. And start moving forward, because now you have free time for yourself.
Some time after the divorce, analyze how much you have done. Thank fate and yourself for the path traveled, because thanks to this you have become more open to new relationships.
