We are both students. I am a third year student, he is fifth. Together, it seems, a very long time ago, they began to meet when I was still in school. And now, more and more often, we are thinking about the fact that we need to officially register a marriage. I really want to be next to a loved one as often as possible, fall asleep and wake up together, breathe the same air, live together. But what scares me most is that I have to live with his parents. How to be ?!
Olya, 3rd year
Such a situation can often be encountered today. Parents are usually categorically against such a marriage, the reason is banal - "you need to finish your studies." It's easier, if you have already graduated from the university, you have a job, you can already provide for yourself, but if you are a student … all your time is spent on study and on vacation, and you also live on the full support of your parents. But to get married, to get married, as they say, you were impatient. Now more and more people, getting married, are trying in every possible way to ensure that they have their own housing. There is housing - there is peace and quiet in the family, no - swearing, squabbles, perhaps a divorce in the future, unfortunately, this is also far from uncommon. And if you are a student, and there is no opportunity to live separately, but you still decided to build your family, you will have to endure a lot, including the peculiarities of the character of your future flatmates - relatives. Today we offer several simple rules that can somehow make it easier to live in the house of a husband - a student with his parents.
Of course, it's just the ultimate dream if your husband's parents accept you as a daughter, with open arms and respect. But most often, as practice shows, even in this case, conflicts will still appear over time. How to behave in a new family?
"Do not go into someone else's monastery with your charter"
Probably, this is the most important rule in any home, you will obey it - already half of you have been accepted in any family. When you manifest on the threshold of a new home, never forget that here for a huge amount of time they have been living according to their own rules, here there is a way of life, its own order. And it is unlikely that someone will like it if a new resident starts to break it and try to arrange her own order, I think you yourself would not like it. Do not worry, over time, without noticing yourself, you will definitely bring something of your own, but there is no need to do it right away, you will make trouble from the first days.
Seniors really like it when they are asked for advice, or asked to help in some way.
Even if you understand everything, and you yourself know perfectly well how to act in a given situation, please your husband's “ancestors”, seek advice or help. You can't even imagine how pleasant it will be for them, how pleasant it will be to realize that their opinion is important, and even more pleasure will give them the feeling of being wiser and more experienced than you. Emphasize this in all possible ways, just do not overdo it, so that it does not take the form of a petty toadie. And by helping you, your parents need you and take part in your life. The better and more you communicate with your mother-in-law and father-in-law, the sooner you will win them over and like them.
Be more discreet
Situation in life: you have a session, you are immersed in preparation, and here the mother-in-law "gets it" with her morals. What is a session? This is a difficult time, I know firsthand, I want to disconnect from everything in the world, it is just necessary that you are not distracted by anything and no one, but how to explain this to your parents? Or, for example, a mother-in-law considers it normal at any time of the day, without an invitation to enter your room with her husband, arguing that this is her house, she can do whatever she wants and how she wants. And one day, on her next visit to you, she begins to reproach you and express her displeasure. Unfortunately, very often quarrels occur precisely because of the hot temper of the daughter-in-law and the grumpy nature of the mother-in-law.try to resist and explain in a polite form, in the first case, that you just need to work out and that you can solve all the questions and problems later, and in the second case, that you still have your own family with your own orders, even if it is still within this rooms.
Politeness, correctness and calmness.
Don't complain to your husband about trifles
It is also not unimportant that you never forget that the husband's relatives are, first of all, his family. It is to them, first of all, that you should say thank you, thank you for the fact that this man is next to you. Do not forget that it is quite possible that your husband will not always support you, therefore, first of all, rather than complaining to him about his own parents, think about it, is it necessary to do this ?!
Remember that you are not only a mistress for your husband, but also a friend, a support, and it is unlikely that your tense relationship with his parents will bring him a lot of pleasure.
Patience, the day will surely come when both of you graduate from college, find a good job, and you will have your long-awaited housing. And how great it will be if, having moved to a new place, there will be good and warm relations with the husband's parents.
