In our time, more than half of marriages break up. Many are worried about whether to build friendships with exes. Moreover, in some cases life develops in such a way that former spouses can be in each other's field of vision or somehow come into contact in professional or other activities.
When is it better for ex-spouses not to think about friendship?
Divorce is very stressful for both spouses. It is almost always accompanied by strong negative experiences. It can be resentment, irritation, and disappointment. In the process of divorce, as a rule, one or both spouses receive a trauma, to get rid of which, in many cases, it is advisable to work with a psychologist.
That is why the relationship of former spouses after a divorce is so difficult. Often, the mere mention of his name is enough to recall a whole series of negative events and conditions. Therefore, not every broken up couples are able to maintain friendly relations at all.
There is a saying: "out of sight, out of mind." People, as a rule, tend to avoid painful sensations, and therefore it is easier for them not to communicate at all after a divorce, so as not to stir up spiritual wounds.
If there are still deep wounds from the relationship after the divorce, the ex-spouses should not maintain friendly relations. It will take some time, perhaps a lot will change in the future.
What else might be in the way of being friends with a former marriage partner?
Feelings that arise after a divorce can be ambivalent. In addition to the negative component, there may be attachment or latent desire and hope for the restoration of the relationship. In this case, it may turn out that, in fact, the divorce that took place is experienced subjectively, as inconclusive and incomplete.
Then any communication can fuel the hope that everything can be changed. Although such a hope is denied at the level of rational consciousness, it can greatly affect a person's life, and most unpleasantly, it blocks the opportunity to enter into the next full-fledged relationship. The ex-spouse will avoid new acquaintances and will not be able to start a relationship.
When can you build friendships between your ex-spouses?
Still, is it necessary to build friendships after a divorce? There is no unambiguous answer to this question, and everyone makes a decision on his own in a particular case.
Friendly relationships can be built if there are no major mental trauma after a divorce, and they do not interfere with the emergence and development of new relationships in the life of former spouses. If these conditions are met, then friendships may indicate the maturity of former partners. There are examples of famous people who were able to remain full-fledged friends after a divorce.
Indeed, in fact, it is not so much important whether there is this friendly relationship, but the fact that both partners were able to overcome their grievances, heal mental wounds, admit their mistakes, and take experience and wisdom from their past relationships. And friendliness, caring can just be a manifestation of some life wisdom. And also the understanding that, despite the breakup, the former partner brought something valuable and important into the life of the other.
