How are relations in the family between children born with a large age difference developing? What parents should pay attention to.
The ideal difference between the appearance of the first and second child in a family is three to four years. This fact has already been repeatedly proven by psychologists. But it is not uncommon for parents to postpone the appearance of a second baby for a longer period. The reasons can be very different: health problems, unstable financial situation, lack of work. Therefore, the second child in the family may be born much later than the first child, and parents will need to make efforts so that the eldest son or daughter does not feel abandoned.
It can be difficult for an older child to accept the fact that he is no longer the only one in the family. This is especially true for boys. Girls, on the other hand, enthusiastically perceive the behavior of the baby in the family, willingly follow the stages of its development, rejoice at the first steps and words of the baby. This is due to the fact that at the age of 12-13, girls experience a period of "strengthening" of the maternal instinct, this is inherent in nature. The boy will be flattered that from now on he is the protector of the younger.
Parents in such cases shift some of the responsibilities of caring for the baby to the older child. But it should be remembered that at the age of 13-14, children enter a transitional period, which is characterized by emotional outbursts caused by hormonal changes in the body. The psyche during this period becomes the most vulnerable. Therefore, the child may feel abandoned if the parents actively involve him in caring for the baby. Indeed, in this case, the older child will believe that he receives attention only when caring for the younger one.
Remember, no matter how your firstborn loves your baby, he still needs personal free time and space, he also needs your attention and love. It is important that the teenager has his own corner where he can retire. Don't turn his room into a nursery.
After leaving school, more difficult problems fall on the shoulders of a teenager. These are graduation and entrance exams, a lot of new hobbies and acquaintances. Often the older child enjoys more authority with the younger than the parents. After all, he can tell fascinating stories, indulge in sweets secretly from his parents. And the first-borns feel their importance, they treat their younger brothers and sisters with patronage. During this period, a warm and close relationship is established between the children. There is no rivalry between them. Therefore, you should not be afraid of the birth of a second baby when your firstborn is already "almost an adult." With the right parenting approach, both children will feel loved and valued.
