The typical reaction to fear is to avoid the fearful object by all means, to forget about it, to stop thinking. However, in doing so, we do not solve the problem, but only move away from solving it. Fears need to be met face to face, analyzed and deprived of the paralyzing effect. Writer and investor Tim Ferris, in his talk, offers a technique for dealing with fears that will help you to stop being afraid and start taking action.
The fear-dealing technique that will allow you to stop being afraid and start taking action consists of three stages.
Step 1. Assess the fear and its consequences
Take a blank sheet of paper and head it: "What if I […]?" - instead of ellipsis, insert what scares you. For example, “What if I go on this date?” “What if I ask my boss for a promotion?” “What if I don’t pass this exam?”
Divide the sheet into three columns:
- "Define". Identify and write down all kinds of dire consequences of your frightening step. Write as much as possible to take into account all the negative consequences that your imagination paints for you.
- "Prevent". In this column, for each item from the first, answer yourself the question: "What can I do to prevent this from happening or to minimize the likelihood?" Write down all of your possible actions for each item in the first column.
- "Fix". If you fail to prevent the frightening consequences in Column 1 from occurring, consider how you can fix what happened. What steps to take, who to ask for help? Think over and write down your possible steps if each of the unpleasant events from the first column does occur.
Tim Ferris advises: You will probably find that the answer to this question is yes.
By working with your fear on the first page, you will gain self-confidence: even if the outcome is bad, you can deal with the problem, and life will not end there.
Step 2: Assess the positive aspects of the intimidating action
Take the second sheet of paper and head it, "What benefits will I get if I try to do something that scares me?" Even if you fail, what will give you a try? Maybe new experience and skills, new knowledge about yourself, your act will contribute to self-development, bring emotional or financial benefits?
Tim Ferris advises to devote about 10-15 minutes to this step. Think about it.
Step 3. Determine the cost of inaction
Take the third piece of paper and head it: The Cost of Inaction. This stage is very important, you cannot skip it. When we are afraid, it seems to us that the main thing is to avoid facing a threatening situation, and then life will improve. But is it?
Divide the sheet into three columns:
- The cost of inaction after 6 months.
- Cost of inactivity after 1 year.
- The cost of inaction after 3 years.
Write in each column, what will your life be like if you still hesitate to do what you fear? What will it be like in six months, in a year, in three years? Try to understand the details, honestly assess the consequences of your inaction on your life. Look at your life in the future from a physical, emotional, financial, social point of view.
Most likely, the picture will turn out to be not very attractive. After all, when we are afraid of something, it means not only that we feel threatened. But also the fact that we want to overcome it. And if this is not done, then we lose the chance for positive changes, for growing, for improving our life.
Conclusions and conclusion
Thus, after doing this insurance job, you may realize that you will have to face the unpleasant consequences of your actions, but at the same time your life will improve much, and in the long term.
This technique can help you move away from the feeling of panic and come to rational conclusions about your fears, your goals and the direction of your life.
