Surviving the death of a loved one is a very difficult matter. A beloved friend is a real family member. Therefore, her death is also taken hard. Many have been looking for an answer to the question of how to survive such a sad event for a long time. Psychologists, on the other hand, give their recommendations on how to get out of the state of grief.
Many people wonder how to cope with the death of a close friend, not only because they don't know how to deal with grief. Another reason is the fact that long-term grief is inadequately perceived by others. Moreover, when we are talking not about a relative - parents, children or other close ones, but about a friend. Those who had a close relationship with a friend cannot immediately stop thinking about her and do not know how to hide the tears that are choking them. Experts, however, say that you do not need to hide your grief, because what comes out, it will let go faster.
Coping with the death of a close friend
The ancient traditions of funerals and commemorations, which are no longer so zealously observed, were invented and developed for a reason. Experts assure that such a distribution of memorial days helped a person to tune in, measured out certain stages and contributed to a faster acceptance of the situation.
So, for example, 9 days is the period when a person is still in a state of shock from his loss, trying to realize and accept it for granted. You can not hesitate to shed tears and give up the perception of such a terrible fact that a close friend is no longer there. People can experience 2 states: freezing in their grief or excessive fussiness. It is often during this period that the person who has suffered a loss begins to be overcome by thoughts of suicide. You need to restrain yourself from them. After all, your family loves you and does not want to lose you. Try not to be alone. Speak out. After all, you probably had common acquaintances with your friend, with whom you can remember or just talk. If not, contact your relatives.
40 days after the death of a loved one is the period when the gradual awareness of the situation and its acceptance begins. However, at this moment, an unconscious search for the deceased begins in the crowd. It seems that he is standing in the middle of the procession, sitting on the next chair in the cinema, etc. Psychologists say that if a deceased friend comes in a dream, it's good. After all, there is an opportunity to communicate, to complain to her. But the absence of such dreams is an alarming signal that requires a visit to a specialist - a psychologist or even a psychotherapist.
By six months after the death of a friend, the pain is already slightly dulled, but it can still return in acute periods. Often there is aggression against the deceased himself with a message: why did you die? how could you leave me? etc.
If all the stages are passed and accepted internally, then by the year from the date of the death of the best friend, life begins to slowly stabilize. Acute grief is replaced by light sadness.
Psychologists say that the death of a close friend is perceived easier if there was time to mentally prepare for her, for example, she was ill for a long time, and such an outcome was predicted in advance.
What you need to do to ease your grief
Often people try to go through grief alone, ashamed and hiding their feelings from others. However, this is not worth doing. If you feel like crying, cry. I would like to talk to a friend - write her a letter. If all of this eases your grief, do it.
Many are ashamed to often go to the cemetery, visit the parents of a deceased friend or her family, and visit the child. These are all false beliefs that only prolong your grief. If these meetings do not make you unhappy, but rather give a feeling of lightness, you need to allow them to yourself.
Remember that grieving for a loved one is normal and you should not be ashamed of it. Indeed, sometimes the best friends are closer and dearer than some relatives. If your grief is akin to hysteria, and this state persists for a long time, it is better to turn to a professional psychologist who will help you overcome your grief.
