For those who are engaged in the profession of a negotiator, these recommendations will be very useful, be it a diplomat, a policeman, or just a famous person.
Andrei Gromyko was the Minister of Foreign Affairs of the USSR for 28 years in a row - from 1957 to 1985. For his iron grip and tough manner of negotiating in the international diplomatic environment, he was nicknamed "Mr. No". However, the diplomat himself said that he heard “no” much more often than he uttered it. According to one version, it was on the principles of Gromyko's work that the "Kremlin school of negotiators" was based. Its main postulates are as follows: the negotiator is silent and listens; listens and asks; the scale of values is set by the one who feels himself the master of the negotiations; the one who feels like a “guest” must make at least one offer that the opponent cannot refuse; want to get "yes", leave the person in the dark.
George Kolrizer, an expert in clinical and organizational psychology, was taken hostage 4 times. Today George is one of the best negotiators in the world, works as a psychologist in the police and hot spots. Kolrizer is also a consultant for Cisco, Hewlett-Packard, iBM, Coca-Cola, iFG, Motorola, Nokia, Nestle, Toyota, Tetra Pack and other global companies. His bestselling books contain many tools for effective negotiation. For example, “make a concession first”, “make yourself a psychological support for the interlocutor”, “first learn to deal with the grief from the breakup in order to be able to form new connections”, “persuade with arguments and requests, not manipulation and pressure”.
Socrates' rule of negotiations has existed for 2,400 years. The wise Greek believed that the most important point in a conversation should be announced as the third in a row. And in the first places to bring simple questions to which the opponent is easiest to answer "yes". Scientists have found that the effectiveness of the formula is dictated by the physiological reactions of the body. If a person says “no”, the hormones of norepinephrine enter his bloodstream, setting him up for struggle. And the word "yes" leads to the release of endorphins - "hormones of pleasure." After two portions of endorphins, the interlocutor relaxes, and it becomes easier and easier for him to answer "yes" to the next question.
33 years ago the book by Roger Fisher, William Urey, Bruce Paton "How to achieve yes, or negotiations without defeat" was published. It is still considered one of the best textbooks for negotiators. According to this book, there are three main methods of negotiation. First, separate people from the problem - only consider the issues discussed and don't focus on people. Second: focus on benefits, not positions. Third: use objective criteria. A good negotiator takes into account not only the wishes of the other party, but always looks for external standards, references, criteria (law, market price, general practice) that can be used as a convincing argument.
700 spectators of the musical "Nord-Ost" were held hostage by terrorists in 2002. Joseph Kobzon was the first to negotiate with the invaders. Later he said: “I entered - I'm standing. The bandits are all masked. Abu Bakar is sitting in a chair. I tell them: “Guys, here you come here - the whole world already knows about this. You fulfilled your mission, someone sent you, someone you promised it - you did it … And those people who came with their children to the performance, they do not fight - they are peaceful people whom you captured. Give me at least children. Out of respect for me. " Three girls were brought out. One buried herself in me: "There is a mother." I say: "Abu Bakar, why do you need a mother without children, and I need children without a mother?" He smiles: "Yes, it feels like you are not an easy person." I say, "Of course." He said, "Bring out their mother."
In 1985, significant negotiations took place between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev. Their long conversation was extremely tense and led nowhere. After mutual sharp attacks, Reagan, in anger, prepared to leave the room. But at the very door he turned around and said: “All this does not work. May I call you Michael and you call me Ron? I want to speak to you as a man to a man and as a head of state with a head of state. Let's see what we can achieve. " In response, Gorbachev held out his hand to Reagan and said: "Hi, Ron." Reagan replied, "Hi Michael." Thus began a friendship that ended only with the death of Reagan. Subsequently, Gorbachev explained: “His words were so convincing that I could not say 'no.' And we stopped seeing demonic origin in each other”.
