Why does one person play the role of a victim while another chooses the role of a persecutor in life? The answer to this question is given by the role model, which is called the "Karpman Triangle"
Have you ever wondered that a normal, adequate person in some situations begins to behave completely differently, as it would be better to resolve some situations? For example, a woman tolerates a friend who openly ruins her life, although she could calmly not communicate with her. Or does a subordinate who has the opportunity to work in a more prosperous place endure bullying by his boss for years and complains about him to his friends?
These relationships can be understood in terms of the benefits that people receive from occupying certain positions in accordance with the role model of the Karpman Triangle.
The main roles are - victim, stalker, rescuer. The victim suffers big troubles of all kinds from the persecutor and turns to the rescuer with angry accusations against the persecutor. Does the situation sound familiar?
If we consider the situation from the point of view of the benefits of each participant, a very interesting picture emerges. What does the situation give the victim when someone spoils her fate? It would seem that she only gets cons. But there is something behind these downsides that makes her relive this situation over and over again. This is an opportunity not to take responsibility for your life. “It was he who ruined my life,” says the wife of a drinking husband. But, in fact, she herself chose such a husband and lives with him for 20 years in order to shift the responsibility for her failures in life onto him.
And what is the benefit of the pursuer? He believes that the victim is to blame for everything that is happening around, therefore he arranges all sorts of intrigues for her. It is also a way to relieve yourself of some of the responsibility for your life, your failures and transfer it to someone else, as well as feel your superiority and power.
And here, in most cases, the third role appears - the rescuer. Usually the victim, having suffered from the persecutor, goes to the rescuer to explain for a long time how bad the persecutor is, how he ruins her life. The victim seeks pity, confirmation of his innocence, releases emotional steam and becomes the accuser for a while.
And what about the lifeguard? Why does he need all this? Usually, in such a situation, the rescuer takes the side of the victim and together with her exposes the persecutor for his "bad behavior". The rescuer gains a sense of subtle superiority over the persecutor and the false feeling that he is helping the victim solve problems. Although in reality he only participates in the game, where everyone gets the opportunity to relieve themselves of some of the responsibility for their lives. The rescuer reinforces the victim's self-righteousness and gives her the opportunity to drain the negativity. Sometimes best friends, girlfriends and even inexperienced psychologists fall into the role of a rescuer, who eventually realize that the effectiveness of such assistance is zero.
The husband-wife-lover relationship can be a classic illustration of these three roles. A husband is a persecutor, behaves unfairly towards his wife, a wife is a victim, endures bullying, a lover is a rescuer who condemns her husband and feels superior to him.
To go beyond the roles, it is necessary to realize all the benefits that a given role brings in a particular
situations.
