Unfortunately, everyone has to face the fact that they raise their voice at you from time to time. Confrontation can occur in transport and in a store, in a movie and in a restaurant, at home and at work. A screaming colleague in a rage and a mother-in-law turning into raised tones are no different from a noisy saleswoman or a hysterical neighbor in the stairwell - all these people simply have no right to yell at you. Your task is to make them understand.
Instructions
Step 1
Change what you can change. You cannot control the emotional intensity and tone of voice of another person, but you can influence them using the simplest psychological techniques. In a conversation with a person who started yelling at you, in no case should you speak louder, on the contrary, slow down the rate of speech and lower your voice. Speak confidently, firmly, but softly and slowly.
Step 2
Ignoring the screaming person, you only exacerbate the situation, surrender and show your weakness. Stop any action you are taking when someone dares to raise their voice at you. Even if you are driving, and one of the passengers decided to bark at you, park and show that the screamer managed to attract your attention and that you are not afraid of further events and do not hide from his violent emotions.
Step 3
Make eye contact with the screaming person. If you lower your head or look away, the aggressor will decide that you are ashamed or that his insults have served their purpose. If you look at the yelling with polite interest, he begins to feel more and more stupid.
Step 4
Reduce the "heat of passions", offer the screamer to sit down, if it is worth calling someone to take part in your conversation, offer the screaming person a drink of water, but do not order, but offer it. Switch his attention.
Step 5
Just ask the screamer to stop. Suggest that he tone down and stop drawing everyone's attention. Tell him that you will talk to him when he is ready for this - "I need you to speak slowly and clearly, so that I can hear your arguments and understand your point of view, perhaps you will try to speak more quietly?"
Step 6
Don't take the yelling man's tirades personally. As a rule, a yelling person tries to rip off his accumulated irritation at you, you are only an “outlet”, but not a reason. Even if they shout at you because you really did something wrong, the aggressor does not react to you personally, but to the situation that happened earlier.
Step 7
Get help if the yeller becomes more aggressive. In America, in this case, they call 911, and the Russians have to rely only on themselves. If your mother-in-law is yelling at you, call your husband or a close friend, let the "giving a concert" lady understand that she has "listeners" besides you. Dial your boyfriend's phone if the neighbor dares to raise his voice at you. In the case of an inadequate person on the street, a call to the police may work. In public places, you need to contact the security - it is their task to keep order on the territory.
Step 8
If the screaming person doesn't want to calm down, leave. Do not engage in dialogue, do not explain your actions, just turn your back and go about your business. If your voice is raised on the phone, hang up. The interlocutor was the first to break the rules of good manners and you are not obliged to be a good guy in this situation.
