… and I'll tell you who you are. This seemingly harmless saying is often used by parents as a means of protecting their child from communication with potentially bad company. Consider the degree of validity of this judgment.
In favor of justice
From the creators of the national covenant: "With whom you will lead, from that you will gain." In the process of communication, especially for a long time, or associated with living in the same area (for example, a dorm room), people tend to adopt some of the habits of their neighbor. In one way or another, this is common to everyone. You can, for example, learn how to put on your shoes, but not pay attention to the smoking habit. Here, the main role is assigned to the willpower of a person, the degree of his control over his consciousness. Often, due to their psychological characteristics, a person may not notice for a long time that he is becoming like someone. This phenomenon is clearly noticeable in married couples with long experience, where over the years even external similarities begin to appear.
A person who already has some life experience can relatively independently form his psyche. The child, who is in some way a psychological sponge, tends to absorb most of the inclinations of his comrades. Especially the older ones. And, if not taught to distinguish between what is good and what is not very good.
Thus, the correctness of the judgment about friendship, from this point of view, has been psychologically proven. But only partially. After all, it is not known in advance who will overcome whom in a friendly tandem. Perhaps it is the notorious bully who will find his way in life under the supervision of a “nerd” classmate.
Truth is not always right
Just talking about a friend to understand who he is is hardly enough. Much more productive in terms of cognition of the human personality is periodic communication, joint pastime and leisure, conversations about the soul. An involuntary observation of a friend occurs, an assessment of his judgments, behavior, where appearance does not always play a decisive role. Which is always first of all paid attention to unfamiliar observers - other friends and relatives. Yes, sometimes appearance and mental qualities reflect each other, but modern practice shows that this is not always the case. And, before telling your child, acquaintance, friend or relative about "who is your friend", you should think about whether the portrait of this person is really complete and objective (and does not stem from jealousy or personal hostility).
Everyone is free to decide whether this proverb is true, but remembering that it is worth judging a friend not only by his appearance and parents, but by his deeds, words, and actions. And the influence that he has already had on those around him.
