The situation when a person becomes the owner of a secret capable of destroying someone else's family and inflicting severe pain on someone is quite difficult. However, according to psychologists, it is quite possible to find a way out of it.
Say, but how …
First, you need to make sure the information is accurate. There is nothing worse than slandering a man and bringing discord into the family of your close friend, when in reality there is no reason to worry. The situation can become even more difficult if the couple is raising children - in this case, it is necessary to take the issue as seriously as possible and speak (if such a decision is made) about the betrayal of the spouse only if there are facts. However, if the information is only speculation, no matter how strong the negative attitude towards the husband of a friend may be, you should not even start a conversation on this topic. As the proverb says: "Don't dig a hole for another, you yourself will fall into it." In other words, the truth will surely become clear over time, and a friend can be lost …
If there is no doubt that the spouse is cheating, it is very important to weigh the pros and cons before informing your friend. You can try to play possible scenarios - how will she react to such information? In difficult cases, when a decision cannot be made in any way, psychologists advise using the so-called “sheet of paper” method. Dividing the page into two parts, it is necessary to state all the reasons why you want to "open the eyes" of a deceived wife. For example, resentment for a friend, dislike for a husband or a new object of his feelings, or simply a desire to restore justice. And next to it - try to predict the likely consequences - a quarrel between spouses, divorce, etc.
Some women, even having indisputable facts of their husband's infidelity, prefer to continue to live "with their eyes closed", maintaining the confidence that everything is going well in their family. There can be a lot of reasons for this - from financial or psychological dependence on her husband to banal self-doubt, low self-esteem and unwillingness to go into open conflict. And even if you tell her that her husband “walks to the left”, such a woman may break up with her friend, but try to keep her marriage alive, despite this “annoying misunderstanding”. Sadly, sometimes wives are simply afraid to talk to their husbands about this topic … And if the desire to tell your friend about her husband's infidelity is irresistible, it is important to weigh all the nuances in advance in order to be prepared for different developments.
Silence is gold?
You can try to find options for communicating such delicate information in different ways. There are many books, films and songs dedicated to love triangles and adultery. By trying to quietly start a conversation about this topic, for example, by sharing impressions of a recently watched movie, you can start a conversation with your friend after learning her attitude to such situations. If a woman claims that she would prefer not to know about her husband's infidelity, it is worth considering whether to tell her about her suspicions. On the other hand, there is a high risk that over time she will learn about it from other sources and may blame everyone who knew, but did not tell her before.
As the saying goes, “someone else's soul is darkness,” and it is necessary to accept only oneself to find a middle ground between your desire to tell a secret and preserve friendship. After all, only friends know each other closely enough and are able to guess what the consequences of this or that event will be. On the other hand, the situation is rather delicate, and even well-known people can behave quite unpredictably.
Particular care must be taken if a woman has an unbalanced psyche, and her relationship to her husband can be called, for example, a manic passion. If there is even the slightest reason to believe that a friend will decide to commit suicide after learning about her husband's infidelity, or, conversely, wants to kill or maim her other half or rival, you can turn to third parties for help in order to make the right decision. For example, observing complete anonymity, that is, without naming any names or facts that can reveal the true heroes of the current situation, share with someone close to you. Having spoken aloud this or that question in detail, people can often not only change their attitude to the problem, but also unexpectedly find new ways to solve it.
