Shame is a feeling that can be present in a person's life at any age. Usually occurs at moments when an individual has done something wrong in his opinion, and is afraid of judgment from the outside. These sensations can be reduced or removed permanently.
There are two types of shame: light and heavy. Weak shame allows you to prevent some action, it stops a person before committing, understanding that later it will be ashamed, it slows down very in time; he also allows you not to commit wrong deeds again. A strong emotion can even be destructive, it causes a feeling of inferiority, fetters and sometimes pushes to drastic actions in order to punish oneself for an act.
Is shame useful
The feeling of shame is formed in childhood, in the process of education. And sometimes false beliefs are imposed on a person. For example, the restraint of your body is not always appropriate and necessary, but because of children's attitudes it is difficult to cope with it. Sometimes it’s a shame to have big money, it’s a shame to look good among others, it’s a shame even to be happy. These beliefs get in the way of living happily, they don't allow you to enjoy the very positive moments of life. If you are ashamed, think, but is this feeling logical at this time?
If shame concerns controversial things, look at it carefully, remember under what circumstances you were told that such behavior is not correct. You just need to realize that today this feeling is no longer relevant, and it will disappear by itself. The settings of our mothers and grandmothers may no longer correspond to modern realities, you do not need to carry them with you.
Shame is a fear of judgment
If you are ashamed, think, and in front of whom are you uncomfortable? Who among the people can condemn you, say that you are wrong? The answer to this question decides a lot, it turns out that you are uncomfortable in front of your loved ones, who may never know what you are doing. And if this feeling is in front of others, analyze, and they are really interested in what you have done? People think only of themselves, they don't often notice something around them, they don't always care about you.
Fear of condemnation, fear of someone else's opinion makes you deprive yourself of joys. You give up many opportunities while looking back at others. But does their opinion make life better? Sometimes it's better to do something, remember it all your life, enjoy the moment, and not think about the opinions of others.
How to deal with shame
If you are ashamed in front of a specific person, if the event has witnesses, then do not hide your eyes, do not blush, but turn everything into a joke. Come up with a phrase that will make it not a global catastrophe, but a smart joke. Even saying a simple thing: “Did I do this?” Can immediately relieve tension.
If the action caused harm to someone, caused discomfort, then it will not be superfluous to apologize. Ask for forgiveness for your action, and this will immediately close this situation. And although it takes effort, it is not so difficult to do it than to carry all the experiences with you for several days or even weeks.
