The inability to refuse a request often becomes the reason that you have to do the work for another and do what you dislike or do not need. Sometimes it seems inconvenient to say “No” to a person and refuse his request because you are afraid of offending him. Sometimes such well-mannered and delicate people become victims of manipulators who use these wonderful qualities of character, extracting their own selfish benefit from them.
Instructions
Step 1
Very often manipulators take advantage of those who have such a weakness - dependence on someone else's opinion. If you always look back at others in your actions, think about “what people will say,” you are a potential victim. You simply will not be able to refuse a request that you do not have to and do not want to fulfill, just because you are afraid to disappoint others.
Step 2
This dependence on other people's opinions is a consequence of self-doubt and doubts about the value of one's personality. Start building self-esteem. You and your deeds, your work and your life should come first. This does not mean that you refuse to help the weak and provide support to those who really need it. But for everyone else, you should have the word "No."
Step 3
Think about the harm of not being able to refuse a request. You can take on the task of doing something that you can’t handle, and let down the person who relied on you. Or you will solve someone else's problem while your urgent matters remain unfulfilled. No one will benefit from such dedication of yours.
Step 4
Refuse those requests, the fulfillment of which is connected with violation of your principles, even simply with reluctance. Try to explain to the person why you don't want to do this. You will see for yourself when he does not want to take these reasons of yours into account. This behavior of the beggar will demonstrate to you convincingly enough that the person does not want to enter your position, then requires this from you.
Step 5
Stop being the one who is being used, establish your own territorial boundaries, and prevent outside intrusion from those who use you without giving anything in return. Do not explain the reasons for the refusal, it is enough to say “No. I can't, I have other plans. There is no need to apologize - you have your own life and you solve your problems. The more succinct your refusal will be, pronounced in a friendly but categorical tone, the fewer questions you will have. Such a refusal will indicate that you do not reject the person himself, but refuse to decide matters for him.
