As you know, a lot depends on a person's emotionality. And in the context of stuttering, emotions rightfully play one of the leading roles.
Imagine a situation when a stuttering person wants to say something, and he does not succeed or he speaks very badly. He wants to express some thought, but some confusion comes out. This situation naturally gives rise to a number of negative emotions that do not always disappear without a trace.
Let's designate general reactions, dividing them conditionally into two parts: emotions that manifest themselves sharply, strongly and quickly fade away, and emotions that are latently present almost always and accumulate gradually and imperceptibly. The first type includes irritation, resentment, outbursts of aggression (for example, they say that they wanted to curse everything in the world, fall underground), etc. The second type includes dissatisfaction with oneself, fate, one's defect (claims, etc.).
Of course, our division is conditional. Unpleasant situations give rise, as a rule, to both emotions. When such emotions appear, there are at least two paths along which their further existence can go.
The first way - emotion is expressed in action and is lived in one way or another, disappearing without a trace. For example, they shouted at us - we go to the gym, hammer a pear and our irritation "disappears". Or we allow ourselves to feel this negative emotion and express it in one way or another, and after a while it becomes obsolete by itself. In any case, the emotion is transformed and does not harm us.
The second way: a person locks an emotion deep into himself and does not allow it to be expressed, does not allow himself to live it. And in this case, it goes inside a person (relatively speaking, into the sphere of the unconscious) and begins to control him, that is, to program for situations similar to the one in which this emotion appeared. And here a vicious circle arises: the situation of failure evokes certain emotions, and they, without receiving permission, create new, equally unsuccessful situations.
Unfortunately, those who stutter most often follow the second, unproductive path. In the context of stuttering, it looks like this: the situation of speech failure gives rise to an outbreak of negative emotions that do not find their natural resolution and are locked inside, and once inside, they begin to cause the following situations of speech failures. The same vicious circle.
Unfortunately, such moments tend to accumulate, and in the worst case, a stutter for several years or decades accumulates a large baggage of this "good". But it is not all that bad. Fortunately, we have many mechanisms for clearing out unnecessary emotional junk.
In almost any cultivation tradition, there are ways and techniques to get rid of it. Let's consider those that are relevant in relation to the problem of stuttering.
1. First, you need to break the vicious circle: situation - emotion - situation. This is not easy, but first you need to take such an ideological position in which you will not fall into the state of a rabbit in front of a boa constrictor and generate a bunch of negative emotions in every case of speech failure.
You need to take a position in which no matter what happens, you calmly take up the resolution of the situation. Since you do not add negative feelings inside yourself, the factor that actually creates situations of speech failures decreases.
This is easier said than done. Such rethinking sometimes takes months. One way to do this is by journaling.
You take a blank sheet of paper and divide it into thirds with two vertical lines. In the first column you describe the situation (you may not be very detailed), in the second - your reaction and feelings. In the third column, you write how you would like to react to such situations.
For example:
I went to the store I'm terribly angry - I know what I give
and I came poured and offended, excessive value
on his leg although he understood that this situation. AND
they didn’t want me henceforth I will
offend to take this
calmer.
This is an approximate text, in the third column you can choose what suits you best. Gradually, you will be able to reprogram yourself and respond more calmly and with dignity to problem situations. This work takes 10-20 minutes a day.
We blocked only the flow of fresh negative emotions, but what to do with those that have already accumulated in us?
2. It is very useful to engage in individual psychotherapy with a qualified specialist. Especially if it helps to relive early childhood grievances.
3. In order to work through and release those emotions that have stuck in us deeply, you can constantly (a couple of times a day) keep a diary, describing those experiences that will appear during the day or specifically recall those events that were painful, and write diary, indicating your feelings and experiences.
4. It is very useful to engage in aggressive sports, thus it is good to get rid of fresh, unexpressed emotions.
5. Very deep work, in my opinion, takes place in preparation for "supercomplex" speech situations. For example, you have a presentation tomorrow. If you have problems in this area, it is most likely that you have accumulated a lot of suppressed feelings and worries about speaking in public. Perhaps there was already a negative experience. It is these repressed feelings that program you to repeat old negative experiences. And if you experience them before the event itself, there will be nothing to program you to repeat the unfortunate outcome (or the likelihood of it will be significantly reduced).
You need to sit down, calm down and very slowly review the future performance in all the details. Live different options. Feel the worst-case scenario - it can presumably happen. Imagine the worst thing: nothing works out for you, only hesitation comes out, the audience, perplexed, begins to glance, someone begins to guess about your "little problem", someone is already chuckling quietly. Now turn to your feelings. What do you feel? Resentment, irritation, outbursts of anger, humiliation? Let the very thing that you fear the most emerge. If you allowed yourself to see these feelings, then there are already fewer of them. Emotion is expressed when a person allows it to pass through him, although it can be a little painful.
You can help yourself (although this is not necessary) by writing down how you feel about this situation beforehand. Sometimes it is necessary to mentally experience such situations several times or dozens of times so that they no longer cause panic and strong negative feelings. Of course, you need to remember that the process of releasing deep emotions can be lengthy. Not everything happens the first time. This process takes time and work.
I wish you success.
