If a once sociable and affectionate child suddenly became withdrawn, whiny and flinching from unexpected touches, this is a reason to think - what is the reason behind such a sharp change in his behavior. Often, it’s even scary to say the reason. Violence … Try to remain calm and respond appropriately to what is happening.
Instructions
Step 1
It happens that traces of violence are obvious: a child came from the street, and there are blood stains on the clothes, abrasions on the body, to your question: "What happened?" there is no clear answer, etc. In this case, ask the child to change into other clothes, and pack the street clothes yourself in bags - each in a separate bag. You may need them when contacting the police. Of course, the packages must be clean.
Step 2
Carefully ask your child where they walked and with whom. Use a calm, even affectionate tone in your conversation. Be sure to mention that you always care and love your child.
Step 3
Psychologists advise to communicate with young children in the form of a game or a fairy tale. It is easier for a child to assess the situation by identifying himself with someone. Grab a child's favorite toy and play a little violence-themed show. For example, a toy - a hare was offended by a toy - a hippopotamus (the size of the offender must necessarily be larger than the victim, so the child perceives it easier). But the hare has a mom and dad who love him, protect him and no longer give anyone an offense. During the game, ask the child leading questions such as: “Do you think the hare should tell his mother about what happened? Would you tell?"
Step 4
Call the police immediately if a child has been beaten or raped. After that, the child will be forced to communicate with a large number of strangers - a police inspector, doctors, psychologists, etc. Prepare your child for this stage, explain that these people are good and they will not harm him. If possible, invite the cops home rather than taking the child to the police station. At home, the child is still more comfortable experiencing such stress.
Step 5
Increase your concern for the child. Surround him with love, give him new toys or watch a positive cartoon together, trying in every possible way to distract the child from what happened. The ideal option would be a family trip somewhere. Choose quiet places for your joint pastime, as the child may at first be afraid of noise and a large crowd of people.
Step 6
Explain to your child that no one is immune from violence, but it can be avoided by observing some rules of behavior with strangers (and even with some familiar people). Also, the child should know that he is in no way to blame for the fact that the violence happened to him. It will be useful to teach the child self-defense techniques. Naturally, a child will not be able to defeat an adult in hand-to-hand combat, but at least he will at least know what painful points can be hit in self-defense.
Step 7
If the violence happened in school or kindergarten, feel free to change the educational institution. Some parents make a mistake and are satisfied with only dismissing / expelling the rapist and taking him into custody. However, in addition to the person himself, the child will certainly be reminded of the situation in which everything happened.
Step 8
In the future, never, under any circumstances, remind your child of what happened. Do not talk about this with other adults, thinking that the child is in his room and does not hear. Ask neighbors, caregivers or teachers (and any incidental witnesses to the abuse) to follow the same tactics.
Step 9
Accept what happened and be vigilant that this situation does not happen again. Now your allies will be only love for the child, patience and time.
