When experiencing the loss of a loved one, a coping mechanism is activated, known in psychology as the "work of grief". The loss is considered to be experienced after successfully passing all stages.
Instructions
Step 1
At all stages of grief, absolutely normal processes occur. You need to know about their features in order to notice the pathological course in time. Sometimes mourning occurs with getting stuck in one of the stages.
Step 2
The first stage is shock, which lasts approximately 9 days. A person refuses to accept the fact of loss, because his awareness is too traumatic for the psyche. At the same time, the simplest defense mechanism is triggered - denial, which is more characteristic of childhood.
Step 3
The manifestation of shock can be both a state of numbness and fussy immersion in activity. In this case, depersonalization is possible as separation from one's own I. All this refers to normal reactions, otherwise a person would simply go crazy.
Step 4
During this period, it is advisable not to leave a person alone, as he may have suicidal thoughts. He does not need abstruse philosophical conversations now, he needs the presence of loved ones and physical contact with them. During this period, a person needs to cry, if he cries a lot - this is good.
Step 5
If the person is stiff and unresponsive, try helping them cry. A funeral is the last opportunity to see a deceased person, and sobbing is a must. Other people should not take away from the coffin and try to speed up the funeral.
Step 6
The second stage is relevant up to 40 days and is called denial, this time denial occurs in the unconscious part of the psyche. Formally, a person has already realized, but deep down - no. For this reason, he can hopefully wait for the steps of the deceased, dream with him.
Step 7
If there is not a single dream with the deceased, this indicates a pathological course of the stage of denial. During this period, the bereaved often cries, but not constantly. He leads conversations about the deceased, which you just need to listen carefully.
Step 8
The next stage is a gradual acceptance of the loss, which causes pain. A person struggles with himself, tries to control his condition. But it is not always successful, and at such moments it suddenly becomes bad.
Step 9
Often there are thoughts of self-accusation, aggression against the deceased, regret about the existing opportunity to change and improve something in his life. Such thoughts should not take possession of a person for a long time, but should be lived. This period lasts up to six months normally.
Step 10
There are fewer and fewer tears, a person learns to suppress emotions and move on. Sometimes he begins to take upon himself the fulfillment of any duties of the deceased. Dreams with the deceased still come, but in these dreams he appears in another world.
Step 11
At the next stage, pain relief occurs, it lasts up to a year. Loss is accepted, life is getting better. One gets the impression that the person has completely mastered his grief.
Step 12
At the final stage, all the previous ones are repeated in a mild form, but the person no longer reacts so sharply. A surge in feelings of guilt is possible. The mourning process comes to its logical conclusion by the end of the second year.
