From time to time, each person has all sorts of troubles, to cope with which we learn all our lives. Back in the late eighties, the American psychologist R. Bray proposed an original system that helps to survive the hardships of life, which is still successfully used by many famous psychologists today.
Instructions
Step 1
Determine the cause of the trouble. R. Bray divided all existing troubles into 2 groups. The first group includes events that arise for objective reasons (illness of loved ones, accidents). The second is the troubles associated with the shortcomings and vices of other people. These are greed, anger, envy, betrayal, stupidity, deceit. If you carefully analyze all the unpleasant events that have occurred over the past year, you will find that most of them belong to the second group.
Step 2
Try to avoid troubles caused by negative qualities or actions of other people. As Bray said: "Do not get sick with other people's diseases!" After all, you, for example, do not suffer from annoying mosquitoes annoying you. Of course, this is unpleasant, but you will not worry, just apply the necessary remedy for protection. It's the same in life: it doesn't build up to worry if someone deliberately gives you trouble.
Step 3
Don't waste energy going through past adversities, don't worry about failure that hasn't happened yet - try to live in the present. Very often, a person begins to worry about those negative events that have not yet happened (and it is not known whether they will happen) or to scroll past adversities in his head, making life incredibly difficult for himself. Meanwhile, we forget that real life is very good and prosperous, and we waste time worrying. "The burden of the future, added to the burden of the past that you load on yourself in the present, makes even the strongest stumble on the path. Isolate the future just as hermetically as the past. The day of man's salvation is today" (R. Bray).
Step 4
Do not make an elephant out of a fly, do not exaggerate the size of the disaster. How often, in moments of failure, our emotions prevail over reason and overwhelm us with negativity! Moreover, they have the ability to grow exponentially. And now we say to ourselves: "I will never succeed!", "How unlucky I am in life!", "My life is a complete disappointment!" Exaggeration is not true, it is a lie to ourselves.
Step 5
Each event has its own term. R. Bray writes: “If circumstances are stronger than you, do not make it a tragedy. Bend like grass under the snow, remember that spring will come and you will straighten up. " If something has happened in your life, take it for granted, try to get over it. Live by the principle "you don't have to think about what cannot be changed." The most important thing during this period is to try to accept grief and prepare for a future happy life.
Step 6
Don't flaunt your worries. Many people mistakenly believe that the show of trouble loses its power. Manifesting outwardly, they only intensify, forcing a person to experience grief again and again, along the way bringing suffering to those who are near.
