Resentment, as a rule, arises as a response to an unjustly inflicted grief or insult. Often, resentment in a person is caused by his disappointed expectations directed at others.
Instructions
Step 1
First, your abuser may have no idea that someone is offended for something. So is there any point in taking offense at someone who never even knows about it? If you want to clarify the situation, tell him about your feelings, just use not accusatory expressions for this, but phrases like: “I feel hurt. It is unpleasant for me when you do this and that or do not do what I expect from you."
Step 2
It is completely impossible to get rid of emotions. You can talk about them, but don't expect other people to owe or owe you anything. Take their good attitude towards you as a gift, a sign of sympathy, or whatever, but not as an immutable fact, deviations from which are unacceptable.
Step 3
If you are offended by the person for not living up to your expectations, keep in mind that people cannot read your mind. If you expect a person to act in one way or another in relation to you, try asking him about it, or at least giving a hint. It is simply stupid to wait until others figure out your desires, and even be offended when this does not happen.
Step 4
Perhaps, having offended you, the person inadvertently touched you for a sore spot. Before getting offended, think about whether he consciously did it, or it happened rather by chance, "without a second thought" on his part. Even if he deliberately told you an offensive truth in your eyes (after all, very often people take offense precisely at the unpleasant truth for them), thank him for it.
Step 5
Admit, for example, that there is a grain of truth in his words, and get something useful out of the situation. Perhaps this is exactly what you need to work on, and you are hesitant to admit to yourself that it is really necessary. In addition, if the person is frank with you, and does not spread rumors behind his back, this is already worthy of respect.
Step 6
If you have been offended by a stranger with whom you have nothing to do (pushed in transport, stepped on your foot, etc.) and, probably, you will never see each other again, it is best to treat it with humor and forget. But if we are talking about a conflict with a close friend or relative, it is hardly possible to do without a heart-to-heart talk. Begin such a conversation, however, only when emotions subside and you can speak calmly, without mutual accusations and reproaches.
