You can often hear the word "selfishness" in an extremely negative context. Egoists scold people who trample the interests of others, carried away only by their own goals. However, in a psychological context, this term often takes on a positive connotation, and world thought knew the concept of “reasonable egoism”. Digging into the history of the concept will help you figure it out.
As a philosophical concept, the word egoist (from the Latin ego - "I") was formed in the 18th century. One of his theorists - Helvetius - formulated the so-called theory of "reasonable self-love". The French thinker believed that self-love is the fundamental motive of human action.
The classic definition of selfishness says that it is such a system of values in which the only motive of human activity is personal well-being. This does not always mean complete neglect of others. So, Bentham argued that the highest pleasure is life in accordance with the moral norms of society (that is, the behavior of an egoist does not contradict the good of the whole society). And Rousseau found that people show compassion and help others, including for the sake of feeling superior. Mill wrote that in the course of development, the individual becomes so firmly connected with society that he begins to associate it with his own needs. Based on similar ideas of Feuerbach, Chernyshevsky wrote his "Anthropological principle in philosophy", artistically illustrated in the novel "What is to be done?"
Traditionally, selfishness has been opposed to altruism (from the Latin alter - "other"), but modern psychology avoids such an opposition. As long as a person lives in society, his needs constantly intersect with the interests of other people. Theorists of recent years have interpreted reasonable egoism as the ability to measure the benefits of certain actions against inconveniences and build relationships for the long term, maintaining a balance of caring for oneself and others.
Speaking about egoism as a problem, they most often imply a hyperconcentration on one's “I”, egocentrism. This often becomes the result of upbringing, when parents excessively and unreasonably indulge all the whims of the child. Growing up and leaving the small world of the family nest, the egoist is faced with the fact that the world does not revolve around him at all. Most often, in personal relationships, such people strive to find a partner who will reproduce a model that is comfortable for him: constantly compromising his own interests to please his desires. As advice to parents, psychologists recommend that they themselves be guided by reasonable egoism: learn to refuse the child, take into account his opinion, but not put the child at the top of the family hierarchy.
