Shyness or shyness is a peculiar character trait common to both men and women. As a rule, this feature begins to manifest itself even in childhood, it can gradually increase. What are the prerequisites for the development of shyness, what forms it?
Shyness can usually manifest itself in two ways:
- a person with a similar character trait feels extremely insecure, uncomfortable around other people, it is difficult (and sometimes even impossible) for him to speak in public; at the same time, shyness can remind of itself even in the case when you need to make a toast at a holiday or defend your point of view in a friendly company;
- there are cases, and they are not rare, when a person experiences shyness not in front of his environment, but in front of himself; It is difficult for such a person to enter into dialogue with his inner “I”, she has to constantly maintain the image of a self-confident person in the eyes of not only other people, but also herself.
Experts believe that whatever kind of shyness is, the main reasons for its development will be the same. What are they?
Why shyness develops
It is easy to guess that shyness has a direct relationship with self-esteem, self-conceit, self-recognition and self-worth of a person. If, for some reason, these moments are unstable, a person will invariably face shyness on his part. Shy people find it difficult to establish themselves in a work or educational team, it is not easy for them to develop their inclinations and talents, to assert themselves in any way. Against the background of this, there may be hidden personal conflicts, complexes displaced to the subconscious level. Timid people, as a rule, have a very strong voice of an inner critic, who scolds, accuses, adds even more uncertainty in their abilities. In especially critical cases, heightened shyness can lead to isolation, unsociability, detachment from reality.
Because of what can a person's self-esteem suffer? Why, in some cases, it becomes painfully underestimated and at the same time pulls self-worth and other important components of the personality to the bottom? Most often, self-esteem problems, resulting in shyness and isolation, arise under the influence of upbringing and the influence of people from the outside. If a child does not receive the necessary support from parents, constantly faces accusations and humiliations from educators and teachers, finds himself in situations where his achievements and successes are not appreciated, gradually healthy self-esteem is replaced by inadequate. The child begins to doubt himself and his strengths more and more, abandons attempts to develop natural talents, begins to show a tendency to self-flagellation. The problem of self-esteem is very difficult, sometimes it requires work with a specialist.
Among other common reasons due to which a timid, shy character is formed, the following reasons are usually distinguished:
- a distorted idea of oneself, which can be imposed by parents or society, the person's immediate environment;
- a clear conviction of a person that he is naturally shy;
- painful prejudices formed during life; against the background of this, increased anxiety, a tendency to suspiciousness, passivity, unreasonable anxiety and various fears often develop;
- any psycho-traumatic / painful situation that occurred in childhood, the result of which was the thought that a person does not correspond to other people's ideas and expectations;
- internal mental contradictions, conflicts that are not realized or not accepted;
- certain, not always traumatic or toxic, upbringing in the family, where the child is deliberately made a secretive and timid personality;
- lack of developed social skills, inability to correctly and easily interact with other people and with the world in general.
It is also worth noting that some specialists (psychologists, sociologists, physiologists) hold a controversial opinion that shyness is a quality that is invariably passed down from generation to generation. This trait is a kind of hereditary marker with which a person is already born. Depending on the style of upbringing and lifestyle, the conditions in which the child grows up, this trait can develop very strongly or, on the contrary, be suppressed over time.
In terms of physical health, shyness can result from prolonged or chronic intoxication with harmful chemicals such as mercury. However, you need to understand that in this version, there are other signs, symptoms indicating a physiological cause.
