Not at ease with your own emotions? If you “explode” at the most inopportune moment, take out the accumulated irritation on your family and friends, and then reproach yourself for what happened, then you should learn to take negative feelings under control.
Instructions
Step 1
Allow yourself to get angry. Paradoxically, the first step to emotional self-control is realizing your own right to negative attitudes towards others. Trying to supplant irritation and resentment, suppressing anger and anger in yourself, you risk losing control over your own behavior. Such tactics can result in unexpected and unreasonable outbursts of anger, as well as depression, moral discomfort.
Step 2
Be honest with yourself. If you dislike a certain person, then it is worth trying to analyze your emotions. First of all, try to understand exactly which qualities, character traits, habits, cause a wave of irritation in you. Controlling your emotions will become much easier when the root cause is identified. It may turn out that on those around you you project … dissatisfaction with yourself and your own life. Are you satisfied with your personal life? Career? Appearance? To learn to control emotions, you need to be in harmony with yourself.
Step 3
Don't keep it to yourself. It is better to express your dissatisfaction immediately, otherwise the accumulated grievances can result in a nervous breakdown. However, avoid accusations and insults! To turn the conversation in a constructive direction, use the "I-statements" technique. Instead of rebuking the other person, tell them how you feel. Explain why his behavior is causing you negative reactions. Then share your vision of the situation and offer to discuss the problem that has arisen, find a compromise.
Step 4
Take time out. If you feel that the inner tension has reached the limit, then it is worth postponing the conversation. Leave the interlocutor for at least 5 minutes, catch your breath, and think over the essence of your claims again. Have you calmed down? Then you can return to the conversation, but build it not from the correct, constructive position. But if it was not possible to pacify your irritation, then you should not continue the conversation that day.
