Becoming a messenger of bad news is no easy task. Faced with someone else's misfortune, many experience an unconscious feeling of guilt, pity, and embarrassment. However, this gamut of feelings makes it difficult to focus on the main task and present negative information in the least traumatic way for the interlocutor.
Instructions
Step 1
Prepare yourself. Learning about the loss, a person goes through several stages: first, the phase of denial, then the emotional stage, the period of humility and, finally, recovery. The more significant the loss, the longer it takes to realize it. Therefore, a person can go through these steps in one minute, but it happens that it takes years. In any case, when preparing to communicate bad news, know that you will have to go through the first stage with the interlocutor - denial. Its duration depends on how well you present the news.
Step 2
Prepare the interlocutor. Try to establish visual and tactile contact. If the relationship is close enough, hug or pat on the shoulder. Say openly that you brought bad news. This will help set the person in the right mood. He will have time to mentally prepare and perceive the message more adequately. Start with factual information, avoiding descriptions of the event with all the details, vivid epithets and your own comments.
Step 3
Be there. Hearing bad news, a person plunges into a stressful state. The inevitable stage of denial is expressed in "stunnedness": you lose eye contact, the person seems to be locked inside himself, can leave the room or, conversely, hide in a far corner. Let the interlocutor come to his senses, realize the reality of what is happening, do not break the silence. Be prepared to answer the questions "Do you know for sure?", "Are you sure?" etc.
Step 4
The next phase is emotional. At this moment, a person is in a state of passion, ready to blame and destroy everything around him. Such aggression can be directed against oneself, so it is worth making sure that the recipient of bad news does not harm himself and others. Very often, anger develops into a lingering tantrum. If the loss is really great, then it is worth allowing the person to express their pain and bitterness with tears. However, if the condition does not improve, then you may need the help of a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Step 5
Feel free to offer all the help you can. However, adequately assess your own strengths and resources. So, don't promise more than you can do. Sometimes words of support, sincere sympathy and willingness to take on minor concerns mean much more than your material capabilities. But you should not go to the other extreme, trying to arrange everything on your own, fussing and not letting the person come to his senses. Respect the feelings of the interlocutor, show sensitivity and understanding.
